Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Percy


I haven’t done much hob nobbing with celebrities in my time, but I have had a pint with hirsute cock rock god Robert Plant. He was looking a bit wrinkly and over permed at the time, but he still carried an aura of lemon squeezing hairy rock squealer about him, which isn’t bad considering his larynx has long ago given up the ghost where the falsetto notes are concerned (perhaps his balls have dropped).

He sometimes stays in the posho hotel across the road, but comes into the pub to mingle with the local oiks from time to time. He developed an attachment to the area when he and Jimmy Page bought a house hereabouts in the early seventies; presumably so they could mooch around in a bucolic fashion and converse with pixies.

Of course the younger generation are not familiar with elderly rock gods. The barmaid Maggie didn’t know him from Adam. She challenged him to a game of pool and casually asked, “what’s your name?” Percy said, “Robert Plant”; to which Maggie replied, “rubber plant, that’s a stupid name for a man!”

I almost felt sorry for him.

15 comments:

surly girl said...

i am emailing you my phone number. next time you see robert plant you press it into his hand and have him call me immediately. tell him i'll do anything, even that. hell, especially that.

mmmmmm, robert plant....

Kyahgirl said...

oh my god, that's hilarious...'rubber plant'! I just burst out laughing.

Don't you feel old when 'the young people' have no idea who the icons are?

sg-go take a cold shower you naughty girl! :-)

garfer said...

Good to see that you believe in helping the aged Surly.

Oap's appreciate gestures like that.

Peevish McSnark said...

I must be the only freak on the planet who didn't like Led Zeppelin. The only song I could bear to hear Robert Plant sing was "Sea of Love" when he fronted the Honeydrippers.

Sad, though, how he didn't even get recognized.

Beccalog said...

I wonder where they lived. I mean Jimmy Page used to own Boleskine House on the east coast of Loch Ness, (the famous home of Aleister Crowley)but you aren't anywhere near there are you? Poor Bob.absolutely wrecked his higher larynx. I wonder what Ol Jim does nowadays.

garfer said...

The house is close to a hamlet called Polloch. It's extremely isolated, the only access being by single track road over a mountain pass.

S.I.D. said...

I thought he was dead.


I fancy living in Polloch,though I would have to make my Ps into Bs

garfer said...

He is alive, warbling, and worth £150 million.

Lucky bastard.

garfer said...

Yes. I even bought him his pint. £150 million and I buy him a pint.

Josh from Casualty eh? I bet your fingers were trembling as you rolled that fag.

Wyndham said...

I've met Jimmy Page. Nice bloke. Like all those dinosaurs he looks like he's just off for a nice Shepard's Pie, which he probably is.

Unknown said...

I'm intrigued. A "cock rock god"...

pissoff said...

Oh Garfy... that was a good un. I ran into a youngster who didn't know who Johnny Cash was. Twat!

pissoff said...

I just want to know if him and Jimmy Page were cottaging?

garfer said...

Hairy men in too tight trousers cottaging?

Don't be ridiculous.

M said...

Aw shit! That's a sad state of affairs when Robert Plant doesn't get recognised even AFTER his name was spoken. OI! Hope that never happens to me. ;-)