* There's always one sweet in the box with a precariously balanced almond on top. One bite and half the almond falls off and rolls under the sofa.
* Everybody hates mince pies, yet everybody feels an inexplicable urge to force them on everybody else.
* People eat After Eight mints and put the empty wrappers back in the box. These people need shooting.
* Big Issue sellers make you feel mildly guilty.
* The Queen.
* Untangling Christmas tree lights. This activity invariably involves high volume cursing and swearing. Personally I'd rather wrestle an octopus.
* Indigestion.
* Squidgy presents. These are usually provided by skinflint relatives who think that a hand knitted jumper with baggy sleeves or a pair of socks are a fair swap for being providing with copious amounts of free food and booze.
* People who think a game of 'Twister' is the perfect way to occupy Christmas Day afternoon.
* Party hats. I have no desire to look a complete twat, whatever the occasion.
Bah humbug!
Etc.
Untangling Christmas tree lights
ReplyDelete^^
am I the only lazy cow who just hangs them up in a tangle?
Also, I love mince pies. Can't get decent one's here for love nor money. Will have to bake my own.
I love mince pies so long as they have a puff and not short crust pastry case.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm exempt from party hats by virtue of my hair - they just don't fit on.
Big issue sellers never make me feel guilty, just dirty.
I love mince pies - they're the only part of this whole infernal feast that I enjoy. Maybe it's because I make them with almondy pastry and a meringue topping ... and lots and lots and lots of booze in the mince ... mmm, mince pies. *drool*
ReplyDeleteI love the huge Costco ones with the sponge topping.
ReplyDeleteCrikey, mince pie fanciers.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that the puff pastry variety are acceptable, but only with a large dollop of brandy cream.
Oh yeah, freshly whipped cream (no brandy for me) on a mince pie is fuckin' delish!
ReplyDelete...But would you say that if it were the Queen playing Twister? huh? huh? no you would not. I happen to know that Liz is a Twister DEMON. You would totally lose. She'd get you in a hammerlock down on the mat there and then she would take out her false teeth and gum you a little bit.
ReplyDeleteand with that image firmly implanted, have a Merry Christmas Garfer!!!
XOOfn!
You forgot the most annoying Christmassy thing, which is Christmas itself. Every year, I will Jimmy Stewart to think, "Nah, bollocks to that, I'll top meself anyway."
ReplyDeleteNekkid twister, anyone?
ReplyDeleteFN
ReplyDeleteQuennie is also a pool shark, a Scrabble whiz, and always wins at tiddlywinks.
Tim
I like the cut of yer jib.
MJ
That's enough vulgarity for one year. Get thee to a nunnery.
Menstruating on Christmas day.
ReplyDeleteHave a merry one anyway. Don't mind me :(
Thank you for sharing that with me Betty.
ReplyDeleteBetty: I see your menstruating on Christmas Day and raise you Cramps on Christmas!
ReplyDeleteI never ever ever wear party hats - my hair's daft enough.
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot to be said for Christmas on one's tod actually.
ReplyDeleteVastly underrated.