The ongoing saga of Bono's stetson

Bono Vox (crazy name, crazy guy) is presently engaged in a court case against Lulu Von Klepto,
his personal dresser and stylist during the seminal Joshua Tree tour of 1987.
Bonio alleges that in the inner sanctum of his backstage dressing room Lulu stole his stetson hat and diminutive oompah loompah leather strides.
Bono claims that he is a rock icon, and that these items are consequently of iconic value.
Why an oversized twat hat and short arse leather keks should be classed as 'iconic' is frankly
beyond me. Hendrix's Stratocaster, yes. Keith Moon's 'Pictures of Lily drumkit', most certainly.
Morrissey's bunch of gladioli, deffo. Bonio's hat and stumpy strides, nope.
Lulu Von Klepto is defending herself on the basis that as Bonio handed the said items to her, he was conferring a gift.
I am with Lulu all the way. The poor bint has obviously been severely traumatised by being forced to witness at close quarters a munchkin Oirish git in the nuddy. Not only should Lulu be allowed to sell these items on Ebay at an exorbitant price to some tasteless fuckwit; she should be awarded a substantial sum in respect of the pain and suffering caused by the naked prancing 'rock'n'roll icon' tit.
The case is ongoing.
Bonios bank balance currently stands at £40,687,438.17
Lulu Von Klepto's bank balance currntly stands at £1,568.14
Perhaps, Bonio, in the spirit of christian charity for which he is renowned, can be persuaded to drop the case.
Fat chance.