Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Thtop Taking the Pith.

I recently purchased some sweatshirts from Orvis on-line and have been very impressed by their quality. Subsequently I have been bombarded with the Orvis catalogue, and now have a keen appreciation of the appropriate attire for gents who intend to venture into the depths of the steamy jungle and scrape leeches off their todgers.

Orvis amuse me as their target market appears to be fat Americans who suffer from Ernest Hemingway complexes. It's all Zambesi twill this and bush ranger that, with due nods given to the vital nature of hard wearing materials and a profusion of pockets in jungle jackets. Then there is the extortionate price of their clothing. I am particularly taken with their Over the Channel Shearling Parka which is an absolute snip at a mere £990.00 (ex P&P).

I think Herge Smith should stock up on Orvis garments and accoutrements in preparation for his journey to the mystical lands of the east. He might need several tea chests to accommodate his chattels, but I'm sure he won't regret it.

You just don't know what might come in useful when you're groping with a stoker off the coast of Kuala Lumpar.


Crazyrivergirl said...

SLIGHTLY distressed lambs? Baaaaaa!

garfer said...

I'd like a job distressing lambs. Shouting mint sauce at them perhaps.

Herge Smith said...

The pith helmet I feel with definitely come in handy - especially the oversized one which I can both hide under and within in the event of being assaulted.

Thank you for the pointer.

Peevish McSnark said...

Er, scraping leeches off your todger? Why on earth would you dangle your willy in suspect waters? You worry me, Garfy.

I'd distress those lambs with a lovely crust of roasted garlic, sea salt, and Herbes de Provence. Mmmmm. Lamb chop, Clarice?

MJ said...

Or groping with a stroker.

garfer said...

You'll be safe from the Pirates in a pith helmet Herge. They'll recognise a hero of the British Empire instantly and desist from their vile plans.

I have no intention of exposing my todger to leeches Bronwen. Shudder.

Being a port city I imagine Vancouver is teeming with groping stokers MJ.

KAZ said...

That catalogue is certainly not meant for the commomer.
I suggest you buy a pair of Cotton Madras Topsiders or a shirt from the Barnsley Gardens selection.
Gardens in Barnsley?

garfer said...

Of course there are gardens in Barnsley. Piggy and are constantly tiptoeing through the tulips.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

The pansies, actually.

Cheeky cunt.

Better than the wild syringe fields in Manchester, eh Kaz?