Thursday, September 16, 2010


Look, being the Pope is well great, you get to ride about in a big car with a hat. Wii and everything. I don't know what the Wii's for, but you can't blame me for that. I'm 86, if some Cardinal tells me that there's a wee facility in the Papal Chariot I'll wee while playing Wii Watersports.

That Paisley was over today wearing his stupid hat, pah. I beat him at Wii Bowling and he's never got over it, loser

I wish that Bhudda fellah was still about, he was a sour loser at the Crown Green Bowling but he always smiled about it.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010


Why am I bored by the inane? It's not as though there's anything wrong with inanity, I've tried it myself and have been quite adept at conjuring up the spirits of "I banged my leg on the coffee table today and I hate my boss" animus that is the secret of Facetwat.

434 friends? Take 21. You know, this used to be fun.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Mice ate my Mouse Mat

Apparently the ending to (shock, horror) Agatha Christie's 'The Mousetrap' has been revealed. I'd do the relavent link if I could be arsed, but I'm just too overjoyed that the wonderful old St Martins Theatre may at long last fill its boots.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Talking Twaddle

Park your car in the Fire Service car park because the petrol station is grid locked with camper vans, come back two minutes later with a newspaper and a bottle of juice and an idiot Ffireman is photographing your numberplate.

There obviously wasn't enough room for his "appliance".

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Loquacios Pugnacios

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, a stitch in time saves nine, this is the best and worst of times.

The Royal Bank of Scotland has failed to reach its Government suggested lending targets because business and individuals prefer not to borrow but to repay the usurers. Bollocks, they won't lend a penny to any individual or business at a rate of at least 7% above base (0.5%) Call the bastards in and nationalise them, now.

Until we can borrow on reasonable terms there will be no investment and no job creation. Its time the moneylenders were put out of the temple for good.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Bullshit Detector

When this man speaks I enter kill and destroy mode:

When this man speaks I enter kill and destroy mode:

There, I've said it twice.

He is worth losing the American Colonies for, but he's still not as bad as Tony Oleaginous Blair. We breed deluded idiots here as well.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Executive Coaching and Business Consultant

This is what you do when you've just been made redundant but have easily transferable skills of use in both the Public and Private sectors. A keen appreciation of the importance of empathy in successful team building and an up the flagpole and thinking out of the box blue sky mentality are your USP.

Or you could do something useful and become a Fireman.