Thursday, June 30, 2005

Famous ginger twats through history (a brief guide)





There follows a short guide to the role of ginger twats in the long and celebrated history of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Most of these characters will be known to you. Some contemporary, some legendary figures lost in the mists of antiquity. One thing on which we can all agree is that each, however small and insignificant their role, contributed immeasurably to the general mirth and merriment of the non-ginger members of the populace of this great nation.

1) Ethelred the Unready

Was he ready? Was he fuck. Useless twat.

2) Elizabeth the first (aka Good Queen Bess)

Brushed her teeth with brickdust and had a bath twice a year.
Total mentallist or what.

3) Mick Hucknall

'Bunnies too Tight too Mention' and 'Holding Back the Ears'* were two
of Mick's more popular poptastic ditties. *thanks Joel Veitch

4) Bamber Gasgoine

The photo of this ginger twat is a bit blurred. Thank god.
Starter for 10? No thanks.

5) The Proclaimers

' If I could walk 10,000 miles.....'
Go right ahead lads. Just make sure that it's in the opposite direction to me.

4) Cakesniffer

An ex plumper believed to reside in the north west of England. Chief Superintendent
Birtwhistle O'Toole of Greater Manchester Police has advised that; ' Cakesniffer should
be approached with extreme caution. She has been known to mug non ginger members of
the public and plagiarize their intellectual property'.
I do not currently have a photo of this fiend to hand but will upload a police identikit
embellished with orange crayon when I can find the time.

As we look backward into the mists of antiquity (that's enough mists of Antiquity - Ed) and gaze with trepidation into the unknown future, we can rest assured that the ginger gene is recessive.
The future will not, thank god, be ORANGE.

5 comments:

Sniffy said...

Thanks very much, I'm honoured. I shall now procede to link to you at my blog. Fuck knows why, you cheeky bastard.

MHN for short said...

Welcome to the insanity!!!!!! :-) taking the plunge and the blasted water is COLD! AHHHH! :-)

MHN for short said...

That Mick Hucknall guy, is he the one from Simply Red? looks like him.

garfer said...

Tina

I am honoured that you are honoured.

mhneumann

It is he

MHN for short said...

Ah...Thought so. I love his voice. Saw him in concert here in H-town. It was great!!!!