Sunday, February 18, 2007

Done 'n' Dusted

As plastic fantastic rip off enviroments go airports take some beating. Does anyone about to board a plane seriously require a Hermes scarf, a full manicure, and a pint of overpriced beer?

I am presently in a Glasgow airport hotel. I depart for New York tomorrow and am already rubbing my palms at the prospect of seven hours in cattle class followed by the hell that is American airport security. I haven't concealed a bazooka up my rectum and I don't sport a suspicious islamist beard. It won't make any difference. I will still be subjected to the full gamut of indignities.

Oh well, I shall console myself with the prospect of a large plate of corned beef hash crowned with a fried egg. It will have to do until I can afford a Learjet.

7 comments:

Betty said...

Good luck with the holiday/flight/anal probe.

Corned beef hash topped with a fried egg though - you must have a steel lined digestive system.

suburban wonder said...

Have fun! I couldn't get an appointment until the 27th, so it looks like I'm going to just miss you. Damn!

I guess we'll have to preserve the mystery in our relationship after all...

garfer said...

Darn and blast it!

I'd purchased a Humphrey Bogart macintosh and everything.

Maybe next time

suburban wonder said...

We'll always have Paris...

Arabella said...

Oooh - have a smashing time. And a short stack.

S.I.D. said...

Watch out for the rats Garfy.

And the Americans.

First Nations said...

you could come visit!
don't let the fact that i live on the opposite coast stop you. roll up that trouser leg and stick out that thumb! people here love to pick up male hitchhikers with foreign accents. particularly around the Kentucky-Tennessee region.

if someone says you have a real purdy mouth, RUN.