Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Alas poor MJ, we knew her well

MJ, aficianado of all that is pervy and salcious, has finally shuffled off this mortal coil. Her legion of bereft admirers are left with little more than fond memories of her seminal tour of Nebraskan whore houses.

At this sad juncture I think it only right that we set aside a little time for quiet reflection. Each of us bitches will, I am sure, choose to remember her in our own way. The tear wistfully wiped from our cheek will stand testament to this genius who once moved among us; an ethereal presence with a penchant for Victorian sado masochism.

I, for one, will be wearing a black armband on my todger for at least a month in honour of the dearly departed Canuck seal clubber.

Farewell then MJ. Those whom the gnomes love die young.


Arabella said... she won't be needing those tights, then? And we're the same size....
whaddyamean - there's a time and a place.....?

garfer said...

Or her bottle of Jamesons.

It would take at least a bottle of the stuff to persuade me to wear those tights.

KAZ said...

Thanks Garfer and Withnail - a fitting tribute to our Canuck team leader.
I am lacking a todger, but will mourn her passing in my own way.

garfer said...

We shall not see her like again.

I suggest that you down a few vodkas in honour of the immortal memory.

Betty said...

If Arabella wants the tights, I want the bed. I've got the same wallpaper in my boudoir, so it'll fit in nicely, provided I defumigate it first. Well, you know what she's like ...

Why did the silly moo have to up and go?

garfer said...

The wallpaper in your boudoir must remind you of the flock wallpaper in a Birmingham curry house circa 1975.

She gave no reasons. Who are we to question why?

I'm thinking of founding a religion.

Peevish McSnark said...

Well, I call dibs on the bustier.

And wouldn't that be a "todge-band" and not an armband? Or, if indeed you do need an armband for your todger, then hey! I'm your girl!

garfer said...

It wouldn't surprise me if you have todge bands in the US. Halliburton probably make them.

Come to think of it, they'd probably come in handy after circumcision.

S.I.D. said...


garfer said...

Be strong SID, be strong.

FirstNations said...

alas, little single malt...

say, does anyone else have a weird rash on their

never mind.

MJ said...

Not dead yet!

I demand to have some booze!

Then I'll go peacefully.

When a month is up Garfy, please send me your todge-band, unwashed.

Had I known you bitches were going to fight over my belongings I'd have drawn up a will.

*cradles a sobbing SID and presses his face to my heaving bosom*

garfer said...

I can hear dead people.

Can I have your urn when they cremate you MJ? I'll keep it on my mantelpiece next to my todge band and signed photo of Daniel O'Donnell.

S.I.D. said...

So that's who gave you your todge band...good ole Dannny?

Did he sign that too..?

*blows nose into tear stained hankie*

Piggy and Tazzy said...

"Those whom the gnomes love die young"

Erm... Young? Have you been on the bottle, Garfy? She's practically a pensioner.

Quality make-up, I tell ya.

garfer said...


I have it on good authority that Daniel doesn't have a todger.


I couldn't very well have referred to as an 'auld bint'. Sometimes the truth is best leavened with a little sensitivity.

MJ said...

I may be dead but I can still read this, you know!

*throws Zimmer frame at Piggy and Garfy*

*removes false teeth for SID*

garfer said...

SID doesn't need teeth. He lives on boiled potatoes.

MJ said...

I can see where you assumed that I was removing SID's false teeth. Crushed up against my bosom and all, it's natural you would assume that I was removing his teeth for my comfort.

But in fact, it's ME removing MY false teeth for HIM.

I shall refrain from elaborating further on this scenario.

garfer said...

I prefer not to speculate on this matter.

The purposes for which you choose to employ your toothless gums is entirely your own affair.