Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside


The sad demise of the traditional British seaside resort when the hoi cleared off to Benidorm has been much lamented. The descent into tawdry decrepitude didn't happen overnight, the fly blown encroached gradually. Bed and Breakfasts were slowly colonised by the homeless, usually suffering alcohol or drug problems. The paint on the sea front hotels flaked and peeled, their once proud frontages turning into the face of a demented dowager aunt.

There has been a recovery of sorts over the last decade or so. The affluent have bought second homes and the demise of the ghastly boarding houses with their harridan landladies has resurrected a tourist trade, albeit one a shadow of its former self.

I like the seaside. Nothing beats candy floss, rock, amusement arcades, fish 'n' chips, and cockles eaten from a polystyrene cup. Even the slightly downbeat air of a seaside resort in winter appeals to me. The disconsolate wander along a blustery parade, pause, and gaze out to sea into their futureless futures.

30 comments:

MJ said...

First it was Nations’ tales of salmon habitat/watershed/biome destruction.

Now it’s the demise of the traditional British seaside resort.

Not even Herge’s promise of a stick of rock can brighten my day after that.

Someone console me.

MJ said...

*sods off to watch Fawlty Towers*

garfer said...

What do you expect, 'herds of stampeding wildebeest, the hanging gardens of Babylon'?

FirstNations said...

Hey, I can't help it if it's raining.
must be raining there too, huh garfy?

stupid rain.

garfer said...

Yes, it's been very rainy here today.

I'm bored.

Sniffy said...

You're right, the British seaside is great - for all the reasons you mentioned. Even the melancholy atmosphere in those run down resorts that are way passed their best.

Cockels in a polystyrene cup. It was always a toss up between those, mussels and prawns.

garfer said...

Proper sea front caffs are good too. Nice steamed up windows and a full fry up can't be beat.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Oh Garfy, you old romantic, you.

We're slowly falling in love with you.

Herge Smith said...

I'm leaving it just when I'm starting to appreciate it very slightly.

By the way, I think that's me in the snap chucking my litter in the sea.

garfer said...

Auld cynic more like P&T.

Brighton's a bit prosperous Herge, you want to get over to Hastings and slum it a bit.

You can chuck things in the sea when you're on the banana boat as well. Preferably Frenchmen.

garfer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peevish McSnark said...

Cockles in a cup? Our traditional seaside fare is caramel corn, fudge, and pizza. Of course, that's on the east/midatlantic region of the US. God knows what those bizarre Californians are serving. Sushi, most like.

garfer said...

The Californians probably stick to bean sprouts and lentils, thus taking all the fun out of the seaside (or 'the ocean' as you call it).

Apart from the surfing of course.

And the topless beach volleyball.

Crazyrivergirl said...

"Oh I do like to be beside the seaside"...except for Blackpool.

garfer said...

Agreed.

The foul miasma from burger bars, horizontal rain, and a not so Pleasure Beach.

KAZ said...

Lovely words Garfer.
But after 3 weeks on the Costa, I'm back here and my fingers are so numb with cold I couldn't eat Fish and chips on the prom to save my life.

garfer said...

Wimp.

Have a chicken madras, that'll warm yer up.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

It'll certainly warm the cheeks of her arse.

Arabella said...

I had a nice funnel cake in Santa Cruz once. Careful.
Any U.S seaside town on the west coast that has a fun fair (amusement park) will serve these.

garfer said...

Having just Googled funnel cake I want some, now.

Herge Smith said...

It's very blowy by the sea today, my hair is all over the shop.

Piggy is going to warm the cheeks of Kaz's arse... I'm confused now.

garfer said...

Do a Graham Greene and slap on the Brylcreem.

Of course Piggy wants to warm Kaz's arse, you know how solicitous poofs are when they scent a needy female.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

I was referring to the chicken madras, you twisting bastards.

Anyway, I have the last laugh because I've got your stick of rock.

garfer said...

Stripy rock is much nicer than pink rock.

I laugh in the face of pink rock.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Ah, but ours (previously yours) is like a transformer - it'll be stripey later.

Not necessarily rainbow coloured, but stripey nonetheless.

We laugh at your artificially coloured rock. At least ours will be natural and organic.

garfer said...

Natural and organic my arse. Fifty different e numbers more like.

Enjoy your hyperactivity.

KAZ said...

Needy female?
What could I possibly need that I haven't already got?

garfer said...

A villa in Marbella?

A lifetime subscription to People's Friend?

The list is endless.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Don't forget about the liposuction.

Everything else will have been in vain without that.

garfer said...

And the meals on wheels.