Saturday, June 20, 2009

Bubble Wrap

Dear

Thanks for a most wonderful holiday in "Stronsay" a week ago. The weather smiled and we had a fantastic time.
I wonder if you found our boy Rory's toy tiger "Kitty" in the single room? He has done a disappearing act and Rory is asking for him. Would be grateful if you could let us know.

Very best regards

Jane

Dear Jane

I have a shed full of cuddly toys, colostomy bags, crutches, hiking boots, mobile phones, laptop chargers, odd socks, and digital cameras. Sometimes I like to sit in the shed and look at them. They're mine you see; I've worked for them and I like to commune with them and luxuriate in their freeness.

I will happily return "Kitty" to you if appropriate legal documentation proving ownership is afforded within the next 7 days. Failing this I am afraid that that this furry creature (presumed stuffed feline) shall be stored next to the watch that the previous guest left under the sofa.

And no, they won't be getting that back either.

Very best regards

Garfer

7 comments:

KAZ said...

The word 'anal' springs to mind.

Madame DeFarge said...

That's what comes of allowing your parents to take your toys on holiday with them, while they leave you with the aged grandparents (who would rather be buying lottery tickets).

garfer said...

Kaz

I was joking. Ho hum.

Madame

Sheer negligence. I'm inclined to inform Social Services.

MJ said...

You'll find my empties under the bed.

You are under no obligation to return them to me.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

You don't believe in the concept of 'repeat business' I take it?

Bit of a mistake in the recession.

Ah well, at least you've got your Aladdin's Shed to sell on e-Bay

Arabella said...

I left a nice bra in a hotel room in NYC and was very upset no-one handed it in. I was furious with myself for losing something in a room the size of a shoe box but then, it was one of those trendy places with one letter for a name and the trendier they are the less value is put on being able to see anything because it's all low-lighting and I had to pat the walls to find the elevator so I guess it really was my own fault anyway.

garfer said...

MJ

As long as you didn't leave some half eaten poutine under the bed I'm fine with that.

PL

I think I'll stay in the shed until the end of the recession. It's safer in there.

Arabella

Serves you right for falling for that rip off 'boutique' hotel malarkey.