Friday, December 29, 2006


Celebrity chefs (apart from food porn priestess in chief Nigella, obviously) have much to answer for.

Citing impossible to obtain ingredients sourced from a Tuscan peasant's navel and swooning over pieces of offal are enough to put anyone off cookery for life. Then there are the endless coffee table cook books that everyone peruses once and then places on a shelf where they will linger until the apocalypse.

I'm usually immune to this kind of thing, prefering to recline on the sofa with a nice kebab and a teacake to follow. Unfortunately I fell for the pre Christmas 'goose is much nicer than turkey' twaddle bandied about by various culinary twats with stupid haircuts.

Come Christmas Day a perfectly roasted goose was presented at table to coos of delight from those about to partake. Unfortunately there was about enough flesh on the honker to feed an anorexic Pygmy, and even that tasted like a geriatric goat.

Thankfully a fine rib of beef on Boxing Day salvaged the situation somewhat.

I've got a turkey for New Year. The celeb chefs can go and roast their own giblets.


S.I.D. said...

Don't worry Garfy,there's always Next Year

garfer said...

Huge Farty Windscreenwiper Titheadstall has had it coming for years.

I plan to stuff him up a Hippo's rectum and then stuff the Hippo up an Elephants arse and ask a passing Masai tribesman to roast the result in a clay pot.

First Nations said...

my condolences on the goaty goose.
now i'm all depressed.

suburban wonder said...

We've had goose on Christmas before (since my father developed an honest-to-God allergy to turkey), but it must've been a hardy and robust American goose, not some anemic British bird. There was plenty of meat on him, and lots of fruity port gravy to pour on top of the meat. Of course, the American obesity epidemic extends to our waterfowl as well...

Yon twat's 12-in-one bird sounds ridiculous. Of course, we've had the Turducken around for a few years now (a turkey stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck). Eh. I wasn't impressed with it.

Me, I'm all about the Christmas tenderloin of beef heavily laden with sauce bearnaise.

garfer said...

British geese are not anemic(?), they kick arse.

And they can spell.

Even if they do taste like a cross between a badger and a skunk.

Rowan said...

I never could stand goose.
Such a rancid bird! blech!