Sunday, August 12, 2007

Junkie

If we hadn't imported American fast food we wouldn't all be lard arses. I imagine there would also be less in the way of unwanted teenage pregnancies and big 0 carat hoopy earrings if we could only wean ourselves off this foul habit.

I don't know what it is about fast food that makes it so addictive. I know that Kentucky Fried Chicken is 90% salt and grease, but there's something about the prospect of some fat dribbling down my chin that makes it addictive. How can something that manages to be be simultaneoulsy dry and oily be so tasty?

Maccy D's specialise in food that tastes of absolutely nothing. We all know that the only edible thing on their menu is a sausage and egg macmuffin, but we still queue round the block for a big mac and fries.

Unfortunately we don't have Taco Bell over here. This is an intolerable state of affairs when one develops a sudden urge to consume a beef and bean burrito at 11.00 pm. Something will have to be done. I've decided to become the first British Taco Bell franchisee.

I could be quids in.

14 comments:

MJ said...

*waits for FN to queue up as your first customer*

garfer said...

I would generously allow her a free carton of sour cream.

Dx said...

I've just got my hands on a bike to lose the gut. Stay away from me, please.

garfer said...

Have a deep fried Mars bar.

You know it makes sense.

Kyahgirl said...

you're a sick man. I'd rather kill my self with whiskey but to each his own.

KAZ said...

You are addicted to the salt.
So the deep fried Mars bar is the healthy alternative - with a side salad of course.

garfer said...

Why restrict yourself to whisky when you can enjoy the joys of both Kyahgirl? Just think of the money that you will save the beleagured Canadian healthcare system when you pop your clogs prematurely.

A side salad would be nice Kaz, just as long as it was drenched in a lovely fat ridden caesar salad dressing.

Sniffy said...

We have Bar Burrito, but I'm a bit confused as to what a burrito is - it is like a fajita?

I've just discovered that there's a Dominos Pizza place that you can do online ordering from round here. Much better than the local kebab/pizza/curry/burger places. And if you tip the delivery guy, you might just be helping some poor Polish bloke buy himself out of slavery.

garfer said...

As you know, my nearest fast emporium is a zillion miles away.

On the whole this is a good thing. My life expectancy is hugely enhanced.

Arabella said...

Imagine the hell - Mars Bars aren't sold in the U.S anymore. I only discovered this earlier in the year when I fancied one and drove myself bonkers with a futile search.
Never been to a Taco Bell and so can honestly declare I don't "think outside the bun".

First Nations said...

oo! oo! go for it! the UK peoples NEED the little tacos! to love them and eat them! the little happy tacos! and the burritos and cheesy gordita crunches and enchiritos and...*slips in drool and hits head*

to sniffy: the burrito is natures most perfect food, consisting in its pristine state of: tortilla, refried beans and onions.
also, it is traditional in the US to tip your Dominos Pizza delivery clone with a small nug.

jungle jane said...

Its fine to eat KFC and McDonalds - and you should always supersize your meal.

Just make sure you have a diet coke with it and you'll be totally fine....

garfer said...

Vodka and diet Coke.

suburban wonder said...

Urgh. KFC, McD, and Taco Bell? Bleargh!

And here I was fancying some Fish & Chips, a kebab, and a deep-fried Mars Bar. It's time for a cross-cultural exchange here, Garfer.