Friday, March 21, 2008

Student Politicians


....and lots of free beer please.

Within approximately ten minutes of ceasing to be a student most people develop a wholly justified hatred for the malingering little scrotes. It was all very well and good for highly gifted and intellectual types like myself to stay in bed until late afternoon before repairing to the public house, but the illiterate numbskulls these days who have the temerity to do so would be better off spending their time in remedial English classes.

I imagine that the student politicians still exist. They will be big cheeses in the National Union of Students, honing their political skills for the day when they will mesmerize the House of Commons with their oratorical pyrotechnics. Although a bit thick, they will be in love with the sound of their own voices and will have already begun sharpening their knives to back stab their way to the glittering prizes.

The House of Commons is stuffed to the rafters with student politicians. None of them will have actually worked in the real sense, preferring instead to idle in local government, or pen 'lifestyle' pieces for the Guardian before wangling nominations for a safe seat.

The only solution to governance by dimwits that I can see is to remove all student politicians from public office. Unfortunately hanging, drawing, and quartering is off the agenda these days, but they should at least be pelted with rotten eggs as they trudge off into the realms of irrelevance where they rightly belong.

I would take considerable pleasure in accompanying Black Rod as he set about the egotistical little shits with his.....er, rod.

12 comments:

KAZ said...

But everyone who can read and write a bit becomes a 'student' these days.
So will your politicians come from the illiterate and innumerate?
OK then - that's fine by me. Won't change things will it?

garfer said...

All MP's should be replaced by Poles. They aren't workshy and would abolish all taxes on alcohol and fags.

MJ said...

I came here expecting chocolate eggs and all I got was rotten eggs.

garfer said...

I do not dispense chocolate eggs, only Teacakes.

Betty said...

You're right about replacing MP's with Poles. East Europeans would probably give tax rebates to anyone who smokes or is an alcoholic.

garfer said...

Indeed.

Perhaps the House of Lords should be repopulated with Lithuanians.

Rimshot said...

Merry Easter! Be young, have fun, chew gum... erm... have a coke and a smile.

FirstNations said...

you have hit upon a subject that i tend to get very heated about. so in the interests of maintaining a tidy comments lounge here at Teacakes, I'll just say 'Hell yeah, baby. I feel ya.'



so, yeah...what i just said there.

Reg Pither said...

What a stupid banner! Dropping a load of books on a country would hardly do any damage at all - unless you sharpened all the edges and coated the pages in poison, I suppose. No, it would have taken us bloody ages to flatten Dresden with copies of the Vegan Cookbook and I don't think Bookworm Harris has the same ring about it, do you?

KAZ said...

Where are you Garfer?

Arabella said...

He's not in Austin, y'all.

MJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.