Saturday, July 12, 2008

Cheesy Wotsits

Everybody has guilty pleasures, secret indulgences which are kept strictly under wraps lest howls of public derision lead to complete embarassment. I'm not referring to secret sexual proclivities and fetishes here, although I'm sure MJ has a few, but to the private enjoyment of the saccharine and superficial.

I have a few of my own which I am happy to reveal in the blogosphere as nobody can point at me in public and laugh uproariously.

* Pizza Hut buffet lunches

It's pizza Gianni, but not as we know it. The average Neapolitan would projectile vomit if forced to ingest a Pizza Hut pepperoni, the very idea of a deep crust fill them with existential angst. For me it's the sheer blandness that appeals, that and the salad bowl with crunchy bacon bits drenched in thousand island dressing.

* Lees' Macaroon Bars

A sugar hit to beat all sugar hits, even Kendal mint cake. Unbelievably unhealthy but undeniably scrumptious.

* Girl Groups

There have been non cheesy girl groups like the Supremes, but for me it has to be the likes of Bananarama. The less musical talent the better, it's the jiggling and pouting that cuts the mustard.

* Popcorn Films

Independence Day, Eight Legged Freaks, Slither, et al. They have to be mindless with wooden acting and over the top effects. Art house is all very well, but a body can only take so much sub titled thought provoking artfully shot ruminations on the human condition.

* The Carpenters

I happen to believe that Karen Carpenter had one of the great soul voices and I will challenge anyone who thinks otherwise to a fist fight. This is deliciously cheesy and definitely one for the desert island.

Anyway, I'm off to read some Dostoevsky and brush up my Hegelian dialectics. If anybody has a cheesy secret pleasure please feel free to share, I'll try not to laugh.


MJ said...

Rather than listen to Karen sing, I prefer to watch her tragic story unfold in The Karen Carpenter Story, as told by Barbie dolls.

garfer said...

43.19 minutes?

I much prefer the Jim Morrison story narrated by Lou Ferringo who doesn't burst out of his shirt hardly at all.

KAZ said...

Nope - don't agree with a single one.
Though Karen's voice was certainly wonderful.

I like thin and soggy pizza and Jennifer Rush.

Crazyrivergirl said...

I've just been informed by a family elder that these were the lyrics to an advert in the 60's for Lees Macaroon Bars:

"Lees, Lees more if you please
All of us beg on our bended knees
From picanninies to grandpapas
Say Lees for luscious macaroon bars"

You couldn't make it up...not nowadays anyway.

garfer said...

The 'Power of Love'. A truly dreadful ballad. I salute you Kaz

Picanninies eh crg. Not very politically correct.

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Peevish McSnark said...

Guilty pleasures, eh? Early Duran Duran recordings, bodice-ripper romance novels, Cheese puffs, red gummy Swedish fish, spending a day alone abed when I'm not sick...

I haven't had Pizza Hut pizza in YEARS. There's enough oil in that crust to lube my car.