Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sidney Woz Innocent

Complete gobshite, drug muppet, and talentless bass guitar plucker Sid Vicious is apparently innocent of the murder of his repulsive peroxide blonde girlfriend Nancy Spungen.

Why there should still be speculation about this is beyond me. Given that they were both heroin addled numbskulls it is a matter of profound indifference to me whether Sid chibbed Nancy, Nancy stabbed herself, or a mystery man from the room upstairs performed the dirty deed.

As for any romance attached to the Chelsea Hotel, I think that died around about the time Leonard Cohen and Janis Joplin checked out. A squalid overpriced freak and poseur magnet is unlikely to attract my custom.

As for Sid, the other Sex Pistols called him Vicious* because he wasn't strong enough to punch his way out of a paper bag. His legend lives on, if you're a complete numpty.


Some readers have suggested that he was named Vicious after John Lydon's pet hamster. Having researched the matter I am convinced that this was just one of Lydon's jolly japes and that my explanation is correct.

So there. Stuff that up yer jumpers etc.


MJ said...

Leonard Cohen...there you go with the Canadian references again.

Thus spoke Cohen: "I love hotels to which, at four a.m., you can bring along a midget, a bear and four ladies, drag them to your room and no one cares about it at all."

garfer said...

Leonard is one of Canuckland's few acceptable features.

Poutine and Brian Adams are most emphatically not.

KAZ said...

Whateve Sid did - He did it his way.

Madame DeFarge said...

The world breathes a sigh of relief at this news. Now all we need to know is that his bass playing was the stuff of musical inspiration to a generation. Rather than just being a complete balloon.

Malc said...

I always thought Sid was named after John Lydon's hamster Vicious.

Someone's been having me on, haven't they?

fathorse said...

yuk yuk yuk gross gross gross.

John Lydon also makes me ill.

Do you think Mr. Cohen lets anyone call him Lenny?

Betty said...

Ah, if only Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder Civil could have ended their days there about two years ago in a similar way. They *belong* together in Heaven, you know.

garfer said...


Regrets, he had a few. Unfortunately he was too smacked out of his head to remember what they were.

Madame Defarge

I'm sure the angels are accompanying Sid on 'Pretty Vacant' with their harps.


That is the alternative explanation. I'm not sure if either is true.


You can call him Laughing Len if you like.


Amy Winehouse for the White House I say. She'd make an excellent First Lady.

FirstNations said...

THANK GOD. someone finally said it. someone from the U freaking K FINALLY SAID IT. God bless you Garfy and all who sail in you.
I love you, lets get married, I want to have your children. we'll have to purchase them from overseas, but if we use your credit card they'll still be technically 'yours'.

*passes out*

garfer said...

Apart from the Clash and da Ramones, obviously.

Jimmy Bastard said...

Ahhh the Sex Pistols. What wonderful memories flood back into my sometimes alcohol befuddled mind. Sid was never a nasty bastid, nor was he vicious. He was however what punk rock was all about.

I'm afraid I'm gonnae have to side with Malkie on this one. Sid was indeed named after Mr Rotten's hampster.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

And when is will there be enough coffee table biographies about the 'hidden' John bloody Lennon?

Ok he was a reasonable song-writer but it was Paul McC who kept the Beatles together long enough for them to become famous. John Lennon's biggest talent was to be in the right place at the right time. He also married a Japanese girl when that sort of things was unheard of and took a lot of drugs openly in the days when it was still daring to do so.

By all accounts he was a f*cked up egocentric jerk in real life who treated people like dirt.

小貓咪 said...