Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Pits and the Pendulous

Side partings have always been a bad idea; hair should be swept back, knotted into dreadlocks, left to its own devices to moulder slowly in its own oils before recovering to its natural state, or shaved to a mouse breath tonsure that would render your average Jesuit all a tremble.

I've always respected the Plymouth Brethren because the menfolk had sufficient sense to chastise their womenfolk for failing to conceal their crowning glories beneath old tea towels.

As far as I'm concerned Utopia will only exist when skinheads rule, Bryan Ferry's flick fringe is available to all aspirant males who dislike skins, and all females start wearing cloche hats.

Come on girls, you know it's the right thing to do. Be gamine for Garfer, there are teacakes to be had.


Sniffy said...

I bought a new hat today, a Thinsulate walking hat rather than a nice floral bonnet - they didn't have bonnets in The Range. Generally, I have a problem with hats in that they squish my curls and I end up with a flattened mop and a side, or even worse, a cunty centre parting. Perhaps I should get that skinhead, or perhaps keep my hat on all the time.

I really don't understand those Cadbury's Dairy Milk adverts on the telly.

Bring on the trumpets.

garfer said...

Hats stop the heat evapourating from the top of your head, apparently.

Maybe I'll rob the Post Office wearing my bowler next week. That'll confuse the CCTV.

Jimmy Bastard said...

Plan your escape route well. You wouldn't want to take a wrong turn into a scheme such as Springburn wearing a bowler hat.

Be much safer to take a balie with you and change on the M8 just in case of diversions with them never ending roadworks by Paisley.

MJ said...

*dons tinfoil hat in attempt to get extra teacakes*

KAZ said...

Gamine is fine and I'd even have those lip implants for a box of Tunnocks.

The Poet Laura-eate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Poet Laura-eate said...

Sorry but I rather like fey, floppy-haired fops with fob watches (except Brian Ferry since I found out he was a fox hunt supporting, working class roots denying a-hole, that is!)

Madame DeFarge said...

I suspect that any attempt on my part to look 'gamine' would be undone by a physique toned by years of eating the afore-offered Tunnocks. A girl cannot remain gamine when she has snowballs as one of her food groups.