Monday, May 15, 2006

Mad as a Hatter



I was most gratified to learn that Prince Harry is doing his bit in support of the beleaguered British bowler hat industry.

Nobody, apart from Orangemen and (for some inexplicable reason) Nigerians, favours the outmoded headgear in this day and age. Personally, I think it is a far more distinguished cranial sunshield than the hoodie and the baseball cap worn backwards. I am convinced that the moral fibre of the nation would be augmented if such headwear were to be declared compulsory for all school pupils. It would certainly solve the truancy problem, and would ensure that chip van vendors did not inadvertently sell saturated fat laden chunks of potato to chain smoking adolescents.

Harry may be educationally subnormal (like the rest of the Windsors), but he has had the added struggle of overcoming the inheritance of his maternal ancestor, the late Lady Di (thicky) Spencer. Cracking looking bird she may have been, but she wasn’t exactly Simone de Beauvoir.

Let’s face it, Harry is a chav. No amount of time spent in the Blues and Royals, or devotion to ceremonial duties can alter this fact.

I quite like him. At least he enjoys a chuff on a fag and has been known to punch photographers.

I raise my hat to him.

14 comments:

MJ said...

Yay! I'm first!

UnderCrackers said...

BUT he's ginger!

UnderCrackers said...

G I N G E R

UnderCrackers said...

G I N G E R

Betty said...

... teenage thugs being forced to exchange their hoodies and baseball caps for bowler hats ...

All well and good. Do you remember A Clockwork Orange?

frobisher said...

I quite like Harry, and think his ginger hair quiet cute. Seems much more fun than his "wet blanket" brother, William.

suburban wonder said...

I don't like men in hats. Even cowboy hats. Actually, especially cowboy hats.

Bowlers, feh.

Harry's ok. He seems normal, which I count as a stunning achievement given what he's had to work against. I'd take him over the boozy Bush twins any day.

Arabella said...

Orrf with his head.

First Nations said...

he is my sweetie patootie. i've loved him ever since he made the face at the photographers.
sure, he's a chav; look at his dad! that one used to come over here and run riot through the sleazy hollywood starlets like a rabbit on viagra, high on cocaine and always sloppy drunk. rock on, windsors!

Kyahgirl said...

that hat reminds me too much of Clockwork Orange...not good.

garfer said...

I hadn't considered the Clockwork Orange angle.

I suppose if we banned them for wearing white jumpsuits and freaky makeup it would be ok.

S.I.D. said...

My mates and I once burnt a bowler hat minus the orangeman.

See it as a little gesture against British Imperialism.

garfer said...

Oh, you rebel you!

Rowan said...

I personally prefer the fedora.