Sunday, January 14, 2007

Ralfie Dahling

Some people are irritating. Impossibly good looking; debonair, and talented, they whisk effortlessly from success to success without ever feeling the need to glance at their reflection in a shop window to ensure that there isn’t a hair out of place.

I don’t like thespians as a rule. On the whole they are self regarding preening twats who have taken up permanent residency in their own anuses. I make the odd exception to this general rule of total dickheadedness: Ralph Fiennes being one of them.

He’s a very talented actor who doesn’t accept shit roles, and would rather commit hari kiri with his fish knife than agree to appear in a US mini series.

Unfortunately he goes and spoils it all by insisting that he is called Raife, not Ralph. And he’s shagging an old slapper.

What a knobhead.


pissoff said...

Yeah.... Raife or whatever he likes to call himself sounds excrutiatingly knobbish.

AND.... YAY, I'm first.

Betty said...

I have to say that I'm disappointed in you Garfer. You obviously believed what you read in the papers - there is no truth in the rumours about my relationship with *Raife*. We are just good friends.

Spinsterella said...


I used to work in a theatre bar and they are all galloping knobs.

The 'struggling' ones are the worst, mind.

suburban wonder said...

Sorry, out of the loop here - who's Voldemort accused of shagging?

Sniffy said...

I can't believe he got away with calling himself Raife through his childhood without being twatted by schoolmates. He mustn't have had the pleasure of a comprehensive education.

MHN for short said...

I can't look at him without seeing the "face" of Voldemort. I like his brother Joseph.

Faltanus said...

i knew a Raife in high school....oh wait, Raife was his last name. his first name was Graham. never mind.