Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Unlucky Alf



There was a character in the Fast Show called unlucky Alf who, as his name suggested, didn't have much luck. He was constantly being electrocuted by household appliances and had an unerring ability to fall down open manholes (no comments PigTaz please).

I've always felt an affinity with Alf. It's not so much that I'm prone to misfortunes, it's just that fortune rarely smiles on me. Other people find £20 notes in supermarket car parks, win £32,000 on five race accumulators, and always bag top prizes in lotteries. It never happens to me. That's why I never gamble. Its got nothing to do with morality; It's just that I know that I'd always lose.

Amazingly, I had a serendipitous experience before Christmas. I ordered a Compaq notebook from PC world on a Barclaycard that I hadn't used for over a year. Two days later I received a letter stating that they'd stopped the payment as a precaution against fraud. I went back on the web site and tried with another card. Sold out. Bastard.

Several days later a grubby little delivery man turned up at the door with a package emblazoned with the brand name COMPAQ. I phoned Barclaycard, who confirmed that no payment had been taken. I phoned them again today and still no payment has been taken. It looks like the goons at PC World had been at the mulled wine a bit early and I have bagged myself a free PC.

At last, some luck. I'm sure it won't last. I'll probably be diagnosed with a ghastly little tumour later in the year.

8 comments:

SID said...

I bet its battery will start a fire.



*Rings PC World to inform them of their error*

Sniffy said...

They'll find you, never fear! Did you sign for the delivery? Did you ever receive an order confirmation? Can you check your order history online the way you can at Amazon? Do a runner.

garfer said...

Youse are making me paranoid.

I think I'll hide it the attic, with a fire extinguisher.

It can keep Shergar company. The old nags been neighing for the chance to start a blog.

suburban wonder said...

Oooh, a quandary - is it good karma that you got a computer for free, or is it bad karma to benefit from someone else's fuckup? Good thing it's your karma, not mine.

Arabella said...

I don't have the gambling gene either. Don't even enjoy a church fete tombola. I have the cake gene, however.

Convict said...

I'll give you £60 for it. That should cover your speeding fine.

pissoff said...

Yep... I'm with Sniff on this one - they'll find you. Never fear, I did the same thing a while back and they called the "Collections" agency on me. Collections tried to collect but the Nemisis told them to fuck off and they haven't called back since.

pissoff said...

Ohhhh AND, the Nemisis also said "if you don't like it take us (or me) to court." haven't heard a peep since.