Monday, October 29, 2007

Collettes Golfing Shoes

I would like to make it clear that I am not of the golfist persuasion and have no truck with those who are. I would, in all seriousness, prefer to prance about on the roof of Buckingham Palace wearing a gimp suit than trundle about in a paraplegics milkfloat.

My good friend Collette is not a golfist either, but she does have a pair of golfing shoes. She keeps them next to her muck encrusted wellingtons in her front porch. The other day I summoned up the courage to ask her what possible use she could have for them. She honoured me with a look of pity and withering contempt and said "I use them to aerate the soil on my lawns". I was somewhat nonplussed by this reply and said "don't the worms do that already?"."Yes", she said, "my activities merely augment their efforts".

Jesus wept.

You must excuse me, I'm feeling slightly gnomic.


suburban wonder said...

Well, I think Collette's golfing shoes are HAWT!!!

Seriously, I've heard of the lawn aerating thing as regards golfing shoes. I've never actually met anyone that did it, though. Still haven't, come to think of it.


MJ said...

Had you participated in my Freakin' Green Elf Shorts compo, you could now be feeling slightly elfin instead.

That aside, you tried on her wellies when she wasn't looking, didn't you?

MJ said...

SW: Clearly we are tied for first.

Note the time.

Arabella said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arabella said...

Golfing golfers and their golf-gated communities can all golf orff. Half of Florida is a geriatric ghetto because of the game and as for the amount of water wasted on courses in....Texas of all places, well. SCREAM.
Nice uppers though.

KAZ said...

Aren't those like a cross beween correspondents shoes and football boots?

Mopsa said...

Is there not a danger that she might pierce said worms with those spiky shoes and undo all their good work?

S.I.D. said...

Jesus did indeed weep.

Her garden is holier than yours.

Malc said...

Athletics spikes or old cricket boots do the same job, but football/rugby boots just churn up the garden.