Sunday, October 14, 2007

Sids lovely Horse


I can't claim to be a huge fan of Cunnry and Wessern music. I put the source of my antipathy down to a deeply traumatic experience in my youth. Anyone who has been trapped in the back seat of their Uncle Norman's Ford Cortina while the dulcet tones of Philomena Begley (a name to conjure with) belts out from a pair of tinny Pye speakers will understand exactly what I suffered.

I don't know what it is with the Irish and Country music. Why anyone peering out at the drizzle and the morose donkey tethered to a tin shed from their bungalow window should develop a sudden desire to listen to some lachrymose wailings about drinking moonshine in the Osark Mountains and shagging their 12 year old second cousin senseless beats me.

I do make an exception for the late great Gram Parsons, and the really rather lovely Emmelou Harris, but apart from that the yehaers can stick their stetsons and rhinestone cowboy outfits where the sun don't shine.

Although he trys to keep it under his hat, I know that SID (the Bard of Bollix) is a big fan of all things country. He actually moonlights as Declan the Singing Moron, and holds a Hooley on the Costa Del Sol every year. He is particularly renowned for his internationally acclaimed rendition of the seminal 'My Lovely Horse' by the late Father Ted.

He tried to explain away that drunken plavaver with the Spaniards the other night as a 'meet and greet' session in preparation for a conference on autism. This was just a smokescreen to cover up his final preparations for this years Hooley in Fuengirola.

I've decided to put my trip to the Pishnish on hold and visit this cultural event instead. I am reassured to learn that there will be a 'specially prepared menu to suit the Irish palate'. I'm assuming this means that mounds of boiled potatoes will be stirred into the paella and that the calamari will be fried in lard.

I can't wait.

17 comments:

MJ said...

SID hasn't made the big-time 'til he's had a slot on Hugo Duncan's show.

Yer still small potatoes, SID.

suburban wonder said...

Philomena Begley? For real? And I thought I had it bad...

Can't wait to hear SID's dulcet tones. Think two or four wads of cotton should do?

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Declan the signing moron!

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa!

Fantastic.

KAZ said...

I hear Willie O'Nelson has a residency at Loveshack in Torremolinos.

garfer said...

MJ

Hugo Duncan. Who he?

Bronners

Don't dis Philomena. She is the First Lady of Irish Cunnry.

Pigtaz

Signing moron? His talents are limitless

Kaz

You clearly know the circuit. Do you perform?

MJ said...

And you call yourself an Irishman.

A Canuck has to come along to educate you. The shame.

Hugo Duncan.

MJ said...

And send me your baby pic, ya lazy bastard.

garfer said...

Why do you think I left MJ.

The horror!

S.I.D. said...

Philistine!

You haven't heard of Hugo Duncan and his "wee cream buns"???

I don't know which is more humiliating,either being associated with Phil the Queen of Cuntry or having you post a non existant link to my blog.

Here's how it's done Garfy plus a wee gift from me for You and your Ukranian Friend

MJ said...

So if Mary Duff were pregnant, she would literally be up the duff?

Garfy, I want you to listen to Hugo's show in its entirety as punishment for being the ignorant bastard that you are.

garfer said...

Blogger doesn't like you Sid. I can't link to your site. Must have summat to do with using wordpress.

I suggest that you shut yourself up in your bedroom MJ and listen to Bryan (crater face) Adams for 24 hours.

That'll learn you.

MJ said...

You can't link to SID's blog because I've made him dead.

I've appointed you, Garfy, as spokesperson on his blog in the comments section.

I'll be holding a séance as soon as possible so that we may all speak with his poor, lost soul.

Perhaps I'll play Celine Dion in the background at the séance, especially for you.

dead sid said...

I'm rotting here in hell.

Won't someone take pity on my poor Jameson's-laden soul?

MJ said...

No.

garfer said...

Quit yer moanin' and get on with providing the worms with sustenance.

I suppose old Nick might offer you a shandy if you ask him nicely.

Reg Pither said...

I'm with you on C&W. It does, however, have the best song titles. My particular favourite is "You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly".

Della said...

Great work.