Tuesday, December 11, 2007


All this talk of credit crunches and incipient financial meltdown is starting to get me down. Even the Big Issue sellers are starting to look worried, which is conclusive proof of imminent blood on the high street.

We can, of course, blame the Americans for their sheer financial genius in approving mortgages to subnormal IQ numpties with no job, income, or assets. Clearly these people have been sold products which they didn't understand, although an inability to comprehend what happens when you don't pay your interest suggests that they couldn't even understand simple arithmetic.

The way things are going we're all clearly in serious danger of having to survive on windfalls and tinned sardines. I'm already thinking of pawning my Daimler to tide me over the worst of it.

The way I see it the only hope is for women to keep their chins up and maintain their lavish spending on handbags and shoes. Expenditure on these items is the bedrock of western capitalism and the key to consumer confidence.

Get your credit cards out girls; splash out on those Jimmy Choos; indulge yourself with a diamante encrusted Hermes handbag. You represent our last and only hope.


S.I.D. said...

Encouraging women to spend Garfy?

Not had a shag lately?

Peevish McSnark said...

Where've you been, SID? Garfy & Reg have been bitching and moaning about being so old that even shagging has become unpalatable. Shagging's just not on for them.

I don't need Hermes - I do fine with Coach.

KAZ said...

Moth eaten apples or a lottery win?
Or both?

garfer said...


I happily encourage women to spend. Their own money that is, not mine.


the handbag maketh the woman and Coach just doesn't cut the mustard.


Moth eaten apples, most likely of the crab variety.

MJ said...

I'm still waiting for you to wire the spending money to me.

Arabella said...

I don't care for diamond encrusted things. Can I have the Hermes Kelly bag in the original green? Hang on, why am I asking you?....s'my money.

garfer said...


I can wire you some socks to darn if you like.


Stock up on Hermes handbags before your trip to ye olde England. You can sell them at a fat profit, thus paying for your trip.

MJ said...

*pokes Garfer with a darning needle*

Mopsa said...

Huh! You know what I think of that. £35 is plenty to spend on a good bag.

garfer said...


I remain defiantly undeflated.


An admirable manbag sir. That's the kind of bag a poacher could take pride in and use to stash his pheasants.