Thursday, December 06, 2007

Trumped


I am suffering from a serious inferiority complex.

Anyone who doesn't have an 'Organization', or a 'Signature' collection of designer clothing and accessories really has to count themselves among life's most pitiful inadequates.

I've tried grrrrring at myself in the mirror each morning, but no amount of self motivational "go get 'em son" imprecations have proved successful in garnering the billions that are rightfully mine. My clothes are made in Indonesia and my Daimler is an antique grandfather clock. This is a grossly unacceptable state of affairs.

What I need is my own golf course complete with condominium development and an international class hotel with monogrammed bath robes and individually wrapped wafer thin chocolates.

Trumpie wants to build his in Aberdeenshire but is having trouble persuading the inbred local yokels that this is a good idea. What he doesn't realise is that I have pipped him to the post with my own golfing proposal.



Look on my works ye mighty and despair. Megalomania beckons.

13 comments:

MJ said...

Well, it's not mini golf without a clown.

garfer said...

Clowns are too scary to be allowed on mini golf courses.

Arabella said...

Donald Trump has obviously not seen 'Local Hero'.

garfer said...

Presumably he fancies himself as a 'Ginger Hero'.

I admire his chutzpah, if not his comb over.

FirstNations said...

golf in scotland? what a novel concept!!

so you're back again. how long until you waddle off again? hours? minutes?

nice car, btw. very, very, very nice.

garfer said...

We have the ideal climate for golf here. Howling gales and horizontal rain.

Whichever Jock came up with the idea had clearly been at the whisky.

KAZ said...

Excellent idea - but I'm a bit worried about that poor swan.

Re your sartorial problem - grunge is so over - but what's wrong with 'shabby chic'?

S.I.D. said...

"I've tried grrrrring at myself in the mirror each morning"

Trying to scare yourself stiff Garfy?

Looks like yer man might be Trumping for Norn Iron instead?

garfer said...

I think I'll invest in a Saville Row boiler suit Kaz.

Trump is almost as ugly as Paisley Sid. Norn Iron can have him.

Peevish McSnark said...

Signature collection combover? That man is scary...

garfer said...

Don't be ridiculous.

I know that you fantasize about him in secret.

Malc said...

That'll have Alex Salmond hammering at your door with a suitcase of money, I'm sure of it. If not, you can always take it to Northern Ireland.

Mopsa said...

Yes, yes, but all that money and he still thinks a comb-over is a good look.