Achieving a steady 10 miles an hour at the head of a mile long queue of irate motorists stuck behind a ladies cycling club thoughtfully riding in tandem, I couln't help but notice that the girth of the ladies thighs was greater than that prevalent in the general female population.
Don't get me wrong, I am as much an afficianado of the well honed and muscularly defined female thigh as the next man, it's just that I fear that female cyclists may have overdone things slightly. It's all a question of proportion you see. The thighs of Fatima Whitbread do not make a happy combination with the upper torso of a bulimic supermodel.
Perhaps female cyclists should revert to wearing big hooped skirts reaching to their ankles when indulging in cycling pursuits.
I've been having bad dreams involving Fatima pinning me to the bedhead. Believe me, I have no desire to be ravished by an Olympic javelin thrower whose nutcracker thighs would put the fear of God into Bill Clinton.
Lady cyclists, I beseech you. Please take up orienteering or Sudoko, don't subject our sensitive male gazes to such horrors.
2 hours ago