Thursday, August 07, 2008

Olympic Tiddlywinks

I hate all team sports with a passion. I put this antipathy down to being forced to play rugby by a perverted little games master who liked to watch our blue limbs as we skidded across the perma frost. I've equated moustachioed dwarves with sadism ever since.

I suppose individual sports aren't so bad. At least you can watch cute birds in tight lycra disport themselves gymnastically, or marvel at the girth of female shot putters thighs. To be honest I don't know why they go to all that effort to try and win a gold foil wrapped chocolate. It's not as though you can spend it or anything.

Tiddlywinks should definitely be an Olympic sport. It requires skill, dexterity, and steely eyed determination. I think I might have what it takes to represent Britain at tiddlywinks. It would be good as I could chain smoke while playing and put off the dastardly Chinese competitors by blowing smoke rings in their eyes.


KAZ said...

I bet you like watching beach volleyball (women's of course).

My Olympic sport of choice would be 'Supermarket sweeping'.

I could fill the trolley up with vodka and tell them to stick the medal.

garfer said...

I take it you mean topless beach volleyball? Most definitely.

How much Stolly can you fit in a trolley?

MJ said...

I'd like to compete against Kaz in 'Supermarket sweeping'.

I'd intercept her trolley full of Stolly with my brolly.

garfer said...

Kaz would use her brolly to beat you off you dozy thieving dolly.

MJ said...

Such folly!

*hands Garfer the fuzzy end of the lolly*

Betty said...

Don't really care about most of it. Mind you, I like watching those blokes in the lycra all-in-ones stradling the jumps in the 110 hurdles, especially in slow motion.


garfer said...

I assume you have a liking for 6' 4'' black Americans with well filled lycra pouches.

Jiggle, jiggle, ah!