Thursday, September 18, 2008

Cash is King

I imagine that lots of people are having a quiet chortle at the vicissitudes currently being suffered by the masters of the universe as their financial fairyland dissolves. The word hubris springs to mind, and it's hard to muster much sympathy for the arrogant spendthrifts of Wall Street and the City of London.

Unfortunately it's the little people who will suffer most: the secretaries, the menial clerks, the man who sorts the post. It's worth sparing them a thought when observing the Merrill Lynch 'stampeding herd' careering into a brick wall as a consequence of greed and stupidity. The big brains have proved to be a useless bunch of shysters.

Putting your money under the mattress has never been a good idea, but in current circumstances it may be the only method of ensuring a good nights sleep.

Cash is definitely king. I'd sleep on mine, if I had any.


Arabella said...

Don't buy shares (spit) buy art. Oh and gowns. Cause of diversifying thingy.

Never Mind The Bollix said...

I hear that over a thousand jobs are to be axed in Glasgow by October. The takeover of the Halifax/BoS will put paid to another 400.

T-Mobile are also looking to reduce staff from their call centre in Greenock.

In total that is nearly 2000 people unemployed in the Glasgow area this month alone. Add that figure to the lads on the building and you get quite a shock.

MJ said...

My money's tied up in shoes and liquor.

garfer said...


I'm thinking of diversifying into begging. It's a career with a future.


Glasgow's used to it. First the shipyards and now finance and call centres. Big Issue selling will soon be the only growth industry.


Yes, and you use photos of male buttocks for blackmail purposes. How can you possibly lose?

KAZ said...

I always trusted Halifax because they were called Halifax.
There used to be Leeds and Bradford and Bingley. Good safe reliable names.
Enough of Yorkshire.
Is there a bank called Kabul or Baghdad?

garfer said...

I liked Scottish Widows because they had a cracking bird in black sashaying about.

I'm putting my money in cheese. Everybody needs cheese.

Arabella said...

Or coffins.
For the begging thing - you need a little monkey in a hand-knitted sweater.

garfer said...

I'd need an organ to play for the monkey to dance along to. Organs don't come cheap y'know (unless they're Botempi).

And a stick to poke blind people with. The unsighted are noted for their stinginess and have to be encouraged to pay for their entrainment.

Bollix said...

I like Scottish Widows too. Especially the ones who spend their dead husbands money on keeping you in booze.

FirstNations said...

one can never go wrong investing in intoxicants. thats why all my money's in yeast, sugar and ephedra futures.*slides sideways out of chair and lies on rug giggling*

garfer said...


The only thing the widows I know are likely to leave me is their dentures and a variety tin of Crawfords biscuits.


The market for intoxicants rarely suffers in an economic downturn. People even start eating boot polish.

Perhaps boot polish is the way to go.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

It's because the city whizzkids were on drugs that they bought all those debts and got us into the brown stuff.

As for derivatives, I never eat them, so Tunnocks teacakes might be next for the downturn.


garfer said...

Snorting the white stuff and dumping us in the brown stuff.


Sniffy said...

I was in the States when all this kicked off with the $3tr buy out of bad debts. It completely dominated the news; the politicians and financiers hailed a great success. The TV phones told a different story as normal people aired their real concerns.

People with money to invest were trying identify the best places to stash their cash. Not even gold is safe these days.

Hold on to your hats, we're in for a bumpy ride... while the dickheads that put us in this mess still get their million dollar bonuses.


garfer said...

The only upside is that dickhead 20 year old chavs won't be able to get credit cards to spend up to the limit on designer crap.

Hopefully they'll also be too skint to frequent Yate's Wine Lodges and throw up.

Betty said...

Didn't Stanley Baxter do a sketch where he dressed up as "a real Scottish Widow?" Any chance for Stanley Baxter to drag up though, and he's in there like a shot.

I liked the One Show's efforts to demonstrate the effects of the recession - they showed a clip of a 1930's soup queue. Very original.

garfer said...

Can't see Adrian 'Voodoo' Chiles or the goddess Christine Bleakley joining a soup queue any time soon.

Should the rest of us be forced to do so they will no doubt feel our pain.