Friday, September 05, 2008

Hail Palin!

I was most gratified to learn that after over 300 years of inexplicable obduracy the North American Colonials have finally had the good sense to choose a polite, well spoken, and erudite Englishman as a candidate for high political office.

I'm not sure about that John McCain. I've always been suspicious of men with square heads, and there's definitely a hint of the oblong about McCain's cranium. He looks like a suitable candidate for trepanning to me.

Michael Palin will make a perfect VP, restraining McCain's bellicose instincts with his self deprecating wit and debonair gentleman's distaste for ostentatious displays of military vulgarity.

Michael's influence will ensure that tea drinking is declared compulsory. He will also make daily 'God Save the Queen' sing-a-longs obligatory, and insist that any American who fails to realise that the word 'jaguar' has three syllables is encased in a straitjacket and confined to a mental institution for life.

Some semblance of sanity appears to returning in America. I just hope it lasts.

* This post is a bit wordy for MJ, so I suggest that instead of struggling to read it she feast her gaze on the penis/log displayed below. I know that she likes this sort of thing.


Anonymous said...

Sweetheart! You do realise that is "Sarah" Palin, right??? I think she's the best thing to happen to America in a long time.

How are you????

The Dreamer (Michelle from Houston)

garfer said...

Yes, it's just a woeful attempt at satire.

I am fine. I hope you and your new sprog are also well.

MJ said...

I'll come back later to read your post.

Just looking at the pics for now.

garfer said...

Know doubt you are off to start whittling.

garfer said...


MJ said...

*bends over*

Would you please pull this splinter out of my arse?

garfer said...

Certainly, if you provide me with a sterilized pair of surgical gloves.

Betty said...

John Cleese managed to convince the panel on, er, cough, Loose Women that Sarah Palin WAS related to Michael Palin the other day.

Loose Women ... afraid I've brought the tone down even further.

garfer said...

Oh dear betty, first 10CC and now this.

You'll be telling be your grieving over the demise of Richard and Judy next.

Peevish McSnark said...

Oh, if ONLY it was Michael Palin and not Sarah Palin. That woman is Dick Cheney with a vagina. She's Ted Fucking Nugent in a skirt. She's so far to the right politically she makes Pat Buchanan look like Mahatma Ghandi.

I think she's an abject fucking liar too, if I'm going by her speech at the RNC and comparing it to her political record.

The only good thing she's done for America, in my opinion, is that she's galvanized the Democrats left hanging on the fence when Hillary bowed out to go and vote for Obama.

garfer said...

Leave her alone! She's a bit of a looker and she likes to shoot things.

She can take a pot shot or two at Barack's ears. They'll be hard to miss.

KAZ said...

And he will teach them to say python. and not python
and football instead of soccer.

Oh and talk in a nice quiet voice.

garfer said...

And that chips are not called fries, and that biscuits are not called cookies.

M said...

The sprog has been joined by a new female sprog. Proof that the marriage is still strong. Lucky guy he is...

It's nice to see that you've been blogging regularly again! I've been thinking about getting back into it, but these days, employers look at blogs to see if they want to hire you or not. Don't think I want to be scrutinized so closely.

Love ya!