Saturday, March 07, 2009

The Pass at Thermapolae

I felt an urgency in my bowels today which was less an omen of impending terminal cancer than an indication of my fervent desire to sit on my 'Business Solutions Manager's' face and fart long and sonorously.

He's quite normal looking in a brain dead CLYDESDALE BANK kind of way, but there are clear traces of the journeyman tattooed on his forehead. This time server is staring obsequiously up his bosses bum and worshipping at the tiny alter of his time served pension.

Nasty demanding letters are being dispatched to lots of people I know threatening withdrawn overdraft facilities, hiked interest rates, and worse.

As a Gladstonian liberal who believes that 'money should fructify in the pockets of the people' I want the banks nationalised for a time, and quickly.


Jimmy Bastard said...

It won't be long before the stuffed shirt big-heid-yin deritus at Clydesdale, are digging ditches in their pin-striped jay-kets, and steel toe-capped loafers along with the rest of us.

I have a fella who lives nearby, a big noise indeed from the Clydesdale heirarchy. Pishing and greeting in his slimline vodka & tonic so he was..

Seems as though the powers that be have decided not to give him a third payrise in 12 months afterall.

My fucking heart bleeds for him and his lost 3 week excursions to the Maldives twice a year.

MJ said...

I felt an urgency in my bowels today

Dodgy curry?

KAZ said...

Thanks for increasing my vocabulary yet again.
I knew fructose was a sugar but now I know how to fructify.
I understand fart but I’ll 'pass' on Thermapolae.

Madame DeFarge said...

Nationalising the banks os only fun iof we get to dress up and get to play at being bankers for a time. Otherwise, where's the point?

EmmaK said...

Ah ye olde England where you actually know the people by name who manage your money. In the US I have no idea who manages my money otherwise I would no doubt wish to fart in his face or at least give him/her a wedgie.

MJ said...

I swear your blog posts disappeared for a good hour earlier.

I thought the pine martens had eaten you.

Peevish McSnark said...

I'm with EmmaK - a fart in their general direction. Particularly after a dodgy curry.