Saturday, March 21, 2009

Quit yer moanin'

Enjoying a hand rolled cheroot outside the hotel my mildly lubricated equanimity was disturbed by a couple emerging from the front door having a full on domestic.

'Why the fuck did ye book us in for three nights if there wuz no spa treatments! There's fuck all to dae, and I'm bored trailing around after you and your swally ya bastud'

'You're startin' up aboot nothin you miserable coo, if I wasnae still workin' you'd be down the bingo. Quit yer moanin'.

Some folk are just plain miserable, and (although I hate to generalise) people from the east coast of Scotland have elevated gurning and general ignorant bastardness into an art form.

It's Perth, for fucks sake. It's elegant and prosperous and you're staying in an hotel when a lot of folk are getting their homes repossessed. Did you not notice the sprinkling of closed shops and the big farewell note slapped up in the Woolies window and signed by all the staff who are now scraping by on £60 a week Jobseekers Allowance?



Jimmy Bastard said...

Ahhh.. the delightful folk from the east coast. A pox upon them and their crumbling fecking castle.

KAZ said...

What's a swally?

MJ said...

Thanks Kaz for asking about swally.

What's a coo?

Betty said...

No chance of pumping raw sewage into their en suite is there?

Madame DeFarge said...

Having lived on the East coast for 10 years, yup, they were miserable. Except in Musselburgh. They were cheerful, mostly because they weren't in Edinburgh, where all the English were at.

Arabella said...

A nice pot of tea and a toasted teacake isn't going to do it for them, is it?
There's an art to being easily pleased.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Nothing like a romantic getaway!

All together now....Awwwww.