Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Ronnie Wood Speaks


Gor Blimey these Russian bints can be a bit of a 'andful. There was me being me usual amiable jackdaw self as I swigged back the port and brandy wiv me breakfast cornflakes when Ekaterina comes over all hysterical and that. It was almost as bad as that time Keef whacked Mick wiv his telecaster and the pouty lipped big girls blouse took umbrage and chucked Keef's stash of smack out of the hotel room window.

I'm gonna 'ave to 'ave a word with Rod, he knows how to deal with uppity bints. Probably recommend a good slapping followed by a full on shag I shouldn't wonder. These young Ruskie birds need taking in 'and, and I'm the geezer to do it. I was brung up by Gypo Thames bargemen and schooled wiv 'ard knocks so I'll sort that Ruskie bint good and proper.

Anyway, gotta get me old hair tint on and drink a bottle of rum before painting another masterpiece of Charlie on the smack.

It's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it:

5 comments:

Betty said...

Dear Ron, I think of you as a role model for all British men and consider you our greatest living artist. In fact, I think there should be a Ron Wood museum to house all of your great paintings.

We all live in your shadow.

luv,
u r number one fan xxx

MJ said...

Betty can have Ronnie.

Keef is mine.

Scarlet-Blue said...

I'm taking the Mick.
Sx

EmmaK said...

That Ekaterina isn't very smart is she? Remember that 'model' who got impregnated by Mick and now is pumping him for cash for the rest of her life? If Ekaterina had any sense she'd put a hole in a condom, have a baby, get the cash and get rid of that wrinkly old corpse.

garfer said...

Betty

Fanks for giving me me dues. I'm better than that bleedin' daygo Picasso any day.

MJ

Keef would drink you under the table.

Scarlet-Blue

Aren't you Mick's love child?

EmmaK

Ron is worth £50 million so Ekaterina wants to get up the duff sharpish.