Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Closing Down Sale

The era of the Teacake has ended, for the time being, and the spouting of bollocks must halt for an interregnum while pesky stuff is dealt with.

The following items are consequently for sale:

* Wee Jimmy Krankie's shorts - slightly soiled.
* A dog eared copy of Shoot Magazine circa 1978.
* An ancient Daimler which requires work on it's wheel arches.
* The first Undertones LP - severely scratched.
* A Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle - sell by date 07/04/2004.
* P J Harvey's knickers - slightly soiled.
* A Nintendo N64 with the Legend of Zelda 'The Ocarina of Time'.
* A signed photo of Joanna Lumley - slightly soiled.
* A half eaten kebab with chilli sauce discovered down the back
of the sofa - age and provenance uncertain.
* An empty bottle of Old Bushmills Whiskey.
* Samuel Beckett's shower cap.
* The 'Canadian Guide to Being Interesting, Having a Crap
National Anthem, and Saying Eh? all the Time" 1987 (First Edition).
* The tumble dryer from Betty's Utility Room - slightly soiled.
* A years subscription to 'Guns and Ammo' magazine.
* Arabella's Celebratory Flying Winged Cockroach - plinth mounted.
* My relatives.
* The right to tramp all over the allotment where I grow my prize marrow.

I'm afraid that there is a reserve on all items. And no, I don't accept Paypal. It's cash in hand. Take yer pick and make me an offer.

I may be back tomorrow, in 6 months time, or never. It's hard to tell.


MJ said...

First dibs on the empty bottle of Old Bushmills Whiskey.

I'm quite certain I can suck a few more drops out of it.

Don't make us wait too long as we'll miss you.

At least drop in from time to time to let us know you're okay.

And leave us the key to your liquor cabinet while you're away, won't you?

KAZ said...


Scarlet-Blue said...

Dammit, I was after the bottle.
I'll make do with the sofa, but can it be slightly soiled please?

Mopsa said...

Why aren't I surprised? But sad. And you can keep yer soiled kecks.

Madame DeFarge said...

Can I have the Pot Noodle please. I like old bad boys. Hope you reappear soon. If only so that I can tell you how sick the Pot Noodle made me.

pissoff said...

I hear you Garfer. Even though I don't come around too often you're always the first place I stop. Take care of yourself.

Betty said...

First dibs at trampling all over your allotment.

I hope you manage to find whatever it is you were looking for and remain enigmatic while doing so.

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