Friday, February 10, 2006

The Kids are Alright


Strathclyde police have announced one of their perennial crack downs on the gang culture prevalent in the south side of Glasgow. I forget what they call it: probably something along the lines of ‘Operation Kickarse: Reclaim the Streets’.

Maybe it’s just me, but I thought this sort of thing was what the police were supposed to be doing all the time. Gangs of spotty herberts hanging around street corners and hurling abuse at passers by shouldn’t be tolerated in the first place. The Yanks have a term for this: ‘Zero Tolerance’. The police allow the little mongs to get away with their anti social behaviour for years on end and then wonder why the problem proliferates. Useless tossers.

I know that the police have a tough time. All those endless hours sitting in patrol cars scoffing burgers are bound to take their toll. I fully appreciate that it is much more rewarding to harass harmless motorists and attend cultural diversity seminars, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that they should devote just a little of their time to actual criminal activity.

Personally I think they should allow people like me to form militias. The ‘Tunnocks Crew’, armed with tazers and CS spray, would of course employ minimal force in clearing the streets of Buckfast swilling scum. If the gangs failed to respond to an initial pelting with Teacakes we would, regrettably, have to employ more robust methods.

It’s best to be cruel to be kind. Any brain damage, or permanent disfigurement, inflicted on the little cretins would be an unfortunate, but necessary, price to pay.
You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few heads….sorry….eggs.

15 comments:

S.I.D. said...

Tunnocks Teacakes fired at them?

Are you going to tea break them to death?

Two words garfer....two words.

Knee & cap

garfer said...

Too subtle by far Sid.

Kill 'em with calories I say.

Sniffy said...

Ooooh, he mentioned tasers - they get me so excited. I really want one.

Don't care how you kill the bastards, just kill them. Little shits are just parasites and need to be wiped off the face of the planet.

It's odd, isn't it, how I condemn absolutely capital punishment for those convicted of murder, but I yearn for the annhialation (sp) of those who have committed no crimes (yet).

Why? Because people who murder others are actually quite few and far between. They are often driven to their crimes by extreme circumstances. They often kill only once.

These little cunts on the other hand, their sole purpose is to cause continuous disruption and misery to as many people as they possibly can. They are the absolute scourge of society. KILL EM ALL!

garfer said...

A considered, and may I say, wholly justifiable approach.

You may join the Tunnocks Crew and dispense justice as you see fit.

garfer said...

What's to argue with?

funny thing said...

All teenage lads should be forced to undergo either:
a) castration
b) partial lobotomy (but would it make any difference?)
c) three mnths of being forced to listen to The Archers.
Punish the bastards first, that's what I say.

Don't argue with me, I'm hormonal. It'll only end in tears..

Sniffy said...

Yesssssss, thank you, Master. What do we call our patriarch. Jesus, I really can't spell anymore.

Sniffy said...

Hormonal and a Welsh - a very bad combination.

Kyahgirl said...

Off with their heads!

Betty said...

Perhaps they should be rounded up in vans like stray dogs. Then, if they're not re-claimed within 48 hours they're destroyed and ground down for use in composting material.

Oh, alright, forget the 48 hours bit.

becca said...

It's going ok so far. We live in the southside so this was a weekly occurance. We got a security door fitted finally, but we were phoning twice a month. Call polis..they show up..everyone leaves..rinse wash repeat. But..the last time..we did the normal lock the storm door and wait routine. the polis were there for ages talking to the one guy for almost an hour. they never have come back. We're moving though..I'm sick of all the shite and not being able to sleep...fucking arseholes.

MHN for short said...

That guy looks like an Arkasas Redneck. Scary...

garfer said...

I hate to admit it, but most Arkansas rednecks can trace their ancestry to this part of the world.

Class will always out, donchaknow.

MHN for short said...

Oh for corn sake! Dat is de troot!

Eventhough I'm NOT Arkansinian, I can trace me back to the motherland as well.

Luckily for me, a sweet lady from Ireland that goes to my church says that I look as Irish as they come, just with dark hair and eyes with the fair skin & a ready laugh & smile. :-) I love her!

Gordon said...

I'll say this here as I can't really on my own blog (lest the person in question read it).

She's a police officer and is applying for a different role (community policing I think) because "you work less and get paid more". She spend less time on the streets.

Totally agree that Zero Tolerance is the way to go, hopefully it will instill some respect as well. Once that's sorted we can think about giving the little sods somewhere they CAN go, rather than hanging about in the streets.