Saturday, March 04, 2006

Thou shalt have a fishie, on a little dishie.




WHY AYE MAN!

The most sexually alluring sound known to mankind is a Geordie girl speaking. I can’t quite put my finger on it (although I’d like to); it’s just so damn melodious that it leaves me stammering like a fumbling adolescent. I’m not exactly a silver tongued charmer at the best of times, but when a Geordie lass speaks to me I am reduced to the bletherings of an inarticulate mong.

The problem with Geordie girls is that they just don’t travel. I have a theory that they are kept under lock and key by their men folk, lest they be whisked away to more salubrious and civilised climes. Geordie men are, on the whole, devoid of any charm whatsoever. Paul Gascoigne is a fine example of the male intellectual that Newcastle upon Tyne churns out by the thousand. They espouse the Northern creed that no garment is more suited to sub zero temperatures than a sleeveless t shirt. I can only assume that nights on the toon thus clad have addled their brain cells to the point were a bout of extreme hypothermia holds no fear.

Personally I think Jayne Middlemiss is missing a trick coming over all glam and sucking up to the soft southern trendies. What she needs to do is record some soothing mp3's that lovelorn males can listen to before drifting into the land of nod in their lonely beds. The lass would make millions. It wouldn’t be long before she’d be richer than Sting (the Geordie wanka).

22 comments:

Blue said...

I totally agree! Accents are a huge turn on

caroline said...

Sory your bo at hasn't come in yet.

Sniffy said...

Wasn't Sting from Sunderland? Or was it my Sunderland flatmate who hated him because he was a georgie? Probs the latter.

Don't like the accent much to tell you the truth - it's TOO similar to Sunderland and I just get flashbacks to KathnKeeeeeeeeeeeith-man.

Betty said...

Having a Welsh accent tends to make a man about at least 150% more attractive (well, in theory). The Shipping Forecast should be read by a dark, brooding Welsh man every night. That would cheer me up no end before I go to sleep.

garfer said...

Dark brooding Welshmen are all 5 foot nothing, can sing a bit, but are rubbish at rugby.

kyahgirl said...

what the hell is a geordie?

Sniffy said...

What's a Geordie? It's somebody from Newcastle-upon-tyne, a large city in the very north east of England.

kyahgirl said...

thanks Tina.

I was thinking the inarticulate bletherings might be due to the neckline of the blouse. Do they all dress like that? Is that a nipple peaking out?

kyahgirl said...

thanks Tina.

I was thinking the inarticulate bletherings might be due to the neckline of the blouse. Do they all dress like that? Is that a nipple peaking out?

S.I.D. said...

Just the one nipple Kyahgirl.

suburban wonder said...

Well, now I'm intrigued. To me, a Scottish accent and a deep baritone voice is the most lovely sound in the land. Although, I'll take a Welsh or English accent in a pinch. However, unless you're from Cork - or elsewhere in Ireland where the accent is ridiculously charming - I'm not too into the Irish leprechaun accent.

Now, Garfy, you could prove me wrong by leaving me an Odeo of your melodious mellifluence.

kyahgirl said...

I agree Bronwen. The Scots have the best accent.

pissoff said...

hmmmmm, If it's Scottish you want hens then you should be wooing the wee little pigster. Good luck (you're really gonna need it.)

pissoff said...

hmmmmm, If it's Scottish you want hens then you should be wooing the wee little pigster. Good luck (you're really gonna need it.)

pissoff said...

hmmmmm, If it's Scottish you want hens then you should be wooing the wee little pigster. Good luck (you're really gonna need it.)

Piggy and Tazzy said...

The Newcastle accent is almost (although not quite) as irritating as a Liverpudlian accent.

That's all I have to say on this matter.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

And yes, being a wee Highland boy, I have a lovely Scottish accent.

Born and raised in Inverness, it is said we speak the clearest spoken english (Kings English, it is referred as).

Unlike those mongrels from the lowlands of Glasgow and the like.

Irish accents charming? Oh how that made me laugh.

S.I.D. said...

When I hear Piggys voice I automatically think Molly Weir.

She's dead now.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

You bastard!

I'm truly hurt by that comparison.

Not.

Who the fuck is Molly Weir?

Sniffy said...

Scottish accents are very varied, you can't say that the Scottish accent is nice because 90% of people with Scottish accents are completely incoherent. But that's down to them being pissed all the time.

S.I.D. said...

Google her piggy

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