Name 'em and Shame 'em

Ginger (apparently)

Much to my chagrin I have yet again not been included in the Time magazine list of 'The 100 Most Influential People in The World'. This is annoying to say the least, and it's not the first time its happened. I write letters of remonstration to the editorial board every year and not once have they deigned to reply.

I wouldn't mind so much, but that little thicko from Croydon, Kate Moss, is included every year.

Tsk.

I couldn't help noticing that a good two thirds of the great and the good hale from the US. This is also annoying as all right thinking people know that we were much better at running the world than they are.

I've been ruminating on the reasons for American success. I suppose a vibrant immigrant culture, technological innovation, and a 'can do' attitude have all played their part. More than this, however, I suspect it may have something do with their propensity to call each other stupid names.

Newt Gingrich anyone? Gore Vidal? The latter conjures up a mental image of a hairdresser being charged by a randy bull.

Having sod all to do today, I've been trying to think up some suitable names for the Americans. So far I've come up with Henderson Baines III, Taylor D Franklin, and Demetrious K Breedlove Jr. Somewhere in that great nation I am sure there must be individuals who glory in such monikers.

We Britons have sensible names like John Smith, John Thomas (har har), and James Proudfoot. There may even be someone out there who glories in the appellation Ginger Minge.

I'm so excited by the prospect that I'm off to check the UK telephone directory.