Monday, June 11, 2007

Let's Invade Canada

Professor James Lovelock, author of the Gaia theory, has claimed that within fifty years global warming will have rendered most of the northern hemisphere uninhabitable. The only areas suitable for human habitation will be the British Isles, Canada, and Siberia.

We'll be all right. We can arm our hoards of disability benefit scroungers with catapults and deploy them at strategic points around the coast to beat off the beastly foreigners.

The Russians will cope as well. They have had plenty of experience labouring in Soviet penal camps in the frozen tundra.

It's the Canadians I feel sorry for. Everyone knows that the Yankees have been itching to invade for the last three hundred years. I don't know how the gorgeous April will cope when the 101st Airborne Division land on her front lawn and demand pancakes with maple syrup.


S.I.D. said...

Pity she sold all her army surplus gear.

She's fit with a club though.

And an armoured donkey.

garfer said...

Yes, a sort of female Canuck Rambo.

jungle jane said...

christ, isn't the British Isles somewhere near London? Do I need to dig myself a bunker?

*runs off and buys a spade*

suburban wonder said...

Shoot, I'll bet April will welcome them with legs, er, arms open wide.

pissoff said...

I'm already fighting a war so a few Yanks won't make a difference. Bring 'em on, I've got my banjo ready.

First Nations said...

yup. all those new spy towers we just erected along the entirety of our northern boundary? video cameras? nope. lasers.