Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Apotheosis of the Artichoke

I am clean sprouted out.

I always find the desultory interregnum between Christmas and New year a useful time to contemplate why I hate most green vegetables with a passion greater than Morrisey's penchant for gladioli, or Pamela Anderson's passion for proving that short arse Canuck birds like stuffing spacehoppers up their jumpers.

Asparagus would do, if it wasn't mostly twig. A string bean would be tolerable, if it didn't leave a stray string rotting between my top left molars. I wouldn't say no to a broad bean if it got a bit Mexican and started quaffing tequila and getting a bit stroppy.

No, broad beans aren't for me.

Nor are carrots, which may be orange but are the most pointless vegetable known to humanity.

Anyhoo, here's the Undertones, proving that Derryboys who love their spuds are vastly superior to short arse Dublin pontifcaters like Bono.

I hope you know your onions.


Betty said...

I was surprised to see that you didn't give your opinion of broccoli. I think that Morrissey would've looked a lot better with a few florets of broccoli sticking out of his back pocket instead of gladioli.

Respect to the Undertones.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Personally I love veggies, it's fruit I have issues with - cold, sticky and mostly bland.

'tis a real effort to consume one's 5-a-day and I don't always succeed, but scurvy and yellow eye-whites are not a good look.

Mopsa said...

Eat them veg..you know you should. Scurvy awaits around the corner otherwise. Just eat your peas with honey.

MJ said...

If you're going to sit there insulting Canuck birds I'm not going to watch your YouTube.

And you can eat my veg.

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