Thursday, November 03, 2005

Demographics


Glancing at my links list the other day, it occurred to me that most of the bloggers I link to are in the same age group as me. This wasn’t a deliberate decision on my part, that’s just the way things worked out. I suppose it’s understandable as your own peer group are more likely to share your interests (or in my blogroll, hatreds) than callow youths raving about their souped up Vauxhall Novas, or crumblies discussing the merits of various types of mobility scooter.

There are some exceptions to this general rule. The Merkin, Alex, Becca, Rowan and Surly Girl (see links right) where not born in the golden age from 1966 to 1972, and are consequently not part of that exceptionally gifted and extraordinarily good looking generation to which the rest of us are fortunate enough to belong. Despite their general wet behind the earness, they chip in their ha’pence worth, and are more than welcome.

Thinking about demographics more generally, I am reassured to note that by 2025 my generation will out number youthful types. As most of us have had our pensions fucked by Gordon Brown (apart from Cultural Diversity Outreach Officers in the public sector) we will have to rely on the young ‘uns to keep us adequately provided with Guinness, pole dancers, kebabs, and Tunnocks teacakes. Personally I will take great delight in voting for vast increases in taxation levels in order to ensure that I can live in the manner to which I am accustomed.

I suppose we could confine them underground, rather like the Morlocks in 'The Time Machine', only allowing them up for air to provide essential services of a manual and servile nature. Age before beauty I say. By 2025 all pensioners will be equipped with tazers. I for one will have no hesitation in zapping the gormless little twats with 50,000 volts if they get obstreporous, or have the bare faced cheek to speak out of turn.

44 comments:

Sniffy said...

I really want a taser so badly that it hurts.

How did you know my age? I don't remember revealing it as anything other than 30 something. Hang on, 30 something probably fits in with your range of qualifying years for inclusion in the elite. I can't add up.

Herge Smith said...

Did you do the graph yourself? That's fab, nice one.

If we're going to out number the young in the future, why don't we on mass change all laws to favour us?

Increase the state pension in 2025 by 1000% for a start.

Is that what being part of a majority is about?

Sniffy said...

Yes, I agree with Prime Minister Herge! When can I retire? Let me retire at 40, then increase the pensionable age to 500 for everybody else, with 50% NI contributions to keep me in a lifestyle that I've never had, but really do deserve.

garfer said...

You are 35 Tina. My extra sensory perception enables me to divine such information.
I have always been in favour of protecting the rights of minorities Herge, except when they are imbecile youths who like James Blunt and Coldplay.

garfer said...

If you retired at 40 Tina you could stay indoors for 35 odd years. How ace would that be?
Infinite funds for Amazon, Ebay, and pizza delivery. Excellent.

Sniffy said...

Oh wow, I'm dreaming about it already.

Who the fuck told you I was 35, was it me?

Herge Smith said...

Tina, you have mentioned it many many times on your blog.

Are you about the same age then Garfer? - well of course you are, hence this post.

Excuse my fuckwittedness. (And propensity for mass generalisation).

Btw - I often have to use a dictionary when I read your blog. You use some lovely big words - Obstreperous - for example - that's a beaut.

Herge Smith said...

James Blunt and Coldplay - urghhhhhh....

Aginoth said...

35 is a great age to be :o)

garfer said...

I am 38, as are April and Faltunus. Wyndham's about the same I think. Your peer group is usually defined as people born within five years of your date of birth.
Obstreperous is not as good as ennui. With all this rain I have been suffering much ennui. Ennui also rhymes with pee.

Herge Smith said...

Yeah, I thought of pee - but I was using poo and I didn't want it be Scatologically focused.

But I disagree about obstreperous, it beats ennui hands down - both from a language perspective and as an attitude.

34 has been somewhat lacking thus far - and as for 33, I did indeed spend most of it indoors.

garfer said...

Indoors is much safer, but unfortunately you can hear the thud of bills as they land on the doormat.

Herge Smith said...

Yeah, that horrible feeling of dread when you wake up in the morning, knowing the post will come soon, and it's likely to be unwelcome.

Sniffy said...

I don't remember mentioning it.

Anyway, 30s have been good for me so far. Although I'm still fairly miserable, I'm not on medication.

I like "irascible" and "fandabidozy".

garfer said...

I like 'unctuous' and 'iconoclastic'.
Aint codeine medication?

Sniffy said...

Yes, codeine is indeed medication, but it's not my medication, so it doesn't count.

Herge Smith said...

I like Schadenfreude.

It's the only thing that gives me any pleasure anymore.

That and Bourbon creams.

garfer said...

Semantics don't wash with me. You are a codeine junkie and need therapy. Why not check into the Priory? You can beat up Kate Moss and Pete Doherty.

Sniffy said...

I'm terrible when it comes to addictions - I get hooked on things so very easily. It's really rather annoying.

Herge, I thought you liked a bit of tiramisu too?

garfer said...

I am currently hooked on Maynards Midget Gems. I have to pick out all the blackcurrant ones though, they're 'orrible.

Herge Smith said...

I like yes, but it'll be all gone soon, and I can't be arsed to make more for a while.

Garfer - what flavours does that leave you?

garfer said...

Orange, pear, strawberry, lemon, and lime.
Blackcurrant Jelly Babies are crap too.

Herge Smith said...

Well that's not so bad, I was concerned that it'd only leave one or two other flavours.

Blackcurrant tunes are nice.

Sniffy said...

Oooh, I love Tunes! Not had them for ages.

funny thing said...

Can I join in? I'm always late for everything and bring a cloud of gloom too... Tina will vouch for my misery-gutness.

I'm 33 tho - that makes me gorgeous, witty and clear-skinned, obviously.

Tunes ming.

garfer said...

Tunes do indeed ming Funny Thing.

Sniffy said...

Garfer, did you know that Funny Thing is a Welsh?

Sniffy said...

She is quite witty though, so we let her off.

garfer said...

No, but she's not a boyo, so that's ok.

Sniffy said...

No, and her blog is quite entertaining. But not as good as mine, obviously.

garfer said...

Well, obviously, that goes without saying, but with Herge back in town you have some competition.

Herge Smith said...

I've gone all artsy with my very serious poetry efforts - I'm hoping to get a book published entitled - "Iffy poems to read whilst pooing".

I like Funny Things blog also - I have to say though - Garfer, your blog is by far the most well written blog I've come across.

Mind you, I am currently supping White Russians.

MHN for short said...

He, he, he... Ah, that sounds like Heaven Garfer. "Come here ye little bugger...ZAP!"

MHN for short said...

WHAT ARE MIDGET GEMS AND JELLY BABIES? Soz for the caps. Didn't realise they were on and too knackered to re-type.

Betty said...

Garfer, being 42 I feel flattered to just about get under the wire and to be included in your readership demographic thing with all those still physically attractive and able bodied thirtysomethings.

Mind, you, it doesn't stop me going out of a weekend to give my varicose veins an airing, strutting about maniacally to old Abba records while wearing footless tights and pink lycra leotard (...see new Madonna video).

I think "we" are described as middle youthers nowadays, but I prefer to stick with middle aged, which at least is honest.

garfer said...

1970's revivalists and Abba obsessives are not welcome here.
Begone Betty!

surly girl said...

how the hell do you know when i was born??

*panics*

garfer said...

I am the all seeing eye. My special powers and clairvoyant abilities allow me to divine all knowledge.
I am available for consulations at £500 per hour.

Sniffy said...

Well-written, but SHORT. That's what I like about Garfer's posts. He uses simple, yet good English and he gets his point across in no more than 4 paragraphs. I can't cope with really long posts because I forget what happened at the beginning by the time I get to the middle and my mind starts going "Blah, blah, blah, blah, where's the pictures and how many comments has this crap got?"

Aginoth said...

Mmmm Midget gems....I had to be weaned off them, going cold turkey was never an option.

Rowan said...

Well, glad I'm still allowed to lurk about here, but you aren't seriously going to bunch me in with the 21yo's are you? I mean, that's cruel! I don't think I was EVER that age in the typical sense.

I hope I am interesting enough to your tastes. I love reading your highly educational writings. (since ya know, I'm so YOUNG I should still be in school) ;) JK

suburban wonder said...

I'm 35, too. June 26, 1970

MHN for short said...

Ye youngins!!! The old farts over here are ready for the geriatric set! Shuffleboard anyone?

garfer said...

I'm saving up for a tartan rug and a nice pair of slippers.
And a tazer.