Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Ready, Steady, Twat.


Having been rather disrespectful (quite correctly in my view) to the (not so) great and (not so) good in recent posts, I feel that it is only right that I should lavish praise on a celebrity. Unfortunately I am not much use at ‘lavishing’, so I will have to restrict myself to bestowing some faint praise on a member of a group that I usually regard with complete and utter distaste: the celebrity chefs.

The celebrity chef seems to have taken over the airwaves. This is hardly surprising when one considers that in terms of cost, cookery programmes are on a par with shite makeover shows hosted by the likes of the ghastly Carol Smilie Smilie. Watching one episode of ‘Ready, Steady, Cook’ is enough to have anyone reaching for the sick bag. Some idiot member of the public provides a celeb chef with a bag containing pitta bread, six bean sprouts, a mars bar, and a mackerel. The chef is then expected to come up with something scrumptious while the gurning Ainsley Harriot prances around in the background exclaiming “what are you like?” This has absolutely nothing to do with cookery; it is shite light entertainment that would not have looked out of place on The Generation Game circa 1974.

Gordon Ramsay, ex Rangers football player, and famously foul mouthed top chef has claimed that the show should be called ‘Ready, Steady, Twat’. This, in my view, is a very judicious and considered comment.

Ramsay is the real deal; a guy from a working class background who sees his dreams of becoming a professional footballer dashed, and responds by devoting himself to the attainment of the highest possible standards in a totally unrelated field. By all accounts he is a chef of genius. His swearing will really not be that surprising to anyone who has been inside a restaurant kitchen when everything is going arse up. He just doesn’t tone things down for the TV cameras. As for him being a bully, this is not really borne out when one considers the hordes of young chefs clamouring to work under him.

Apparently he physically ejects journalists from his premises if they have the temerity to criticize his food. Quite right too: I wouldn’t want some Lunchtime O’Booze whose taste buds have been destroyed by years of chain smoking complaining about my food.

53 comments:

Sniffy said...

I like him, I admire his honesty and I like the way he is true to the food that he cooks.

In many ways, his reputation and temperament are like a red rag to a bull in terms of tosspots who want to goad him into a response by writing something derogatory about him. It's heartening to know that he has worked hard to make himself almost untouchable by demanding perfection in everything that comes into and everything that goes out of his kitchen.

Wyndham said...

I've met Ramsay and he was charming. At the end of the day he's knows it's all showbiz. But you watch that Kitchen Nightmares and you can see he really cares about food.

garfer said...

I wonder what he thinks of Anthony Worrall Tosspot. That guy has to be the ultimate media whore.

Wyndham said...

Ramsay has had a very public spat with Worral Thompson saying exactly that!

S.I.D. said...

Yup,I admire him too.
Although he did rant on about TV chefs making too much money in the showbiz side of things and he follows suit to a degree.

My favourite quote from him was
"Ainsley Harriet? A cook? He's not a cook..he's a fucking comedian!"

Sniffy said...

Yes, it would be wonderful to have Parkinson have both Gordon and Ainsley on as guests on the same night - imagine if he threw in Nigella too? Brilliant.

garfer said...

Nigella is the ultimate food as sex tv presenter. Posh tottie with a way with the magimix.
I like Nigel Slater. Real food with no bells and whistles.

Wyndham said...

Did you see that interview with Slater in the guardian or some such, he's a total freak. We enjoy his cookery books but he's... odd.

garfer said...

Definitely odd. Lives alone in a six bed house but likes to have various waifs and strays to stay.
Most peculiar.
One critic said he looked like a child molester. Unfair, but I can see where he was coming from.

Sniffy said...

Have you read Nigel Slater's biographical work? I can't remember what it's called, but it's about him growing up and his memories of different foods at particular times of his life. Quite an interesting read.

garfer said...

Toast. Had a flick through. he eulogises Angel Delight, Fray Bentos steak & kidney pud and the like.
Maybe eulogise is the wrong word. The poor bastard was permanently hungry as a kid.
No wonder he's weird.

Sniffy said...

Yes, Toast. I enjoyed it.

garfer said...

How do you like your toast? Mine must be cold with a thick layer of butter and marmalade. None of that soggy toast for me.

S.I.D. said...

Toast and cheese for me.With a dash of Tabasco

suburban wonder said...

Ramsay did a series here called "Hell's Kitchen," where he had two teams of amateur chefs competing to win their own restaurant. This was the WCM's first exposure to him. It was love at first sight. If the WCM were gay, Gordon would be the first on his shag-wish-list.

I admire the way he calls 'em as he sees 'em. I can only hope that the food he produces is as tasty as his mouth is obscene.

suburban wonder said...

Sorry - toast: cut thick, toasted on both sides, served piping hot and dripping with salted butter.

Sniffy said...

Toast - thick cut white bread, blackened (grill, not a toaster). Butter and marmite (or just butter).

Anonymous said...

GOT HYDRO?

pissoff said...

I have no idea what you're fucking on about you lot or who this is. Obviously we, in the Great White North, are so far removed from civilization that we don't get him.

Rainypete said...

Ramsay is the king og critique. He takes these chef-type wannabes and puts them in a pressure cooker of stress. I woudl think if you can get past him and get a restaurant of your own you'd be ready for anything. We'd all be so lucky as to be abused by the lieks of him.

I guess pissoff doesn't watch foodtv!

garfer said...

I imagine that Ramsay would be quite happy to club a baby seal to death and barbeque its carcase over the smouldering corpse of Anthony Worrall Tosspot.
You'll have to emigrate April. There is no alternative. You can sleep in Sniffy's attic until you get settled.

Sniffy said...

She don't need to sleep in no Sniffy attic when Sniffy got nice bed.

surly girl said...

toast - thick cut white, cold, with butter so thick it leaves teethmarks when you bite into it.

can i lightly throw jamie oliver into the conversation?

*runs away giggling as garfer's comments explode in foul-mouthed condemnation of the irritating, fat-tongued mockney wanker*

garfer said...

Liver lipped Jamie is unfortunately off limits since his work with unemployed yoof and school dinner ladies.
I still thimk he's a bit of a tosser though.

Herge Smith said...

All TV/ Media types are cunts.

Herge Smith said...

Saying one celeb is good while another is bad is same as saying one nazi is good whilst the other bad.

They should all be killed, and their children, so they don't follow in their footsteps.

These people are the absolute scum of the Earth.

garfer said...

The only good celeb is a dead celeb. Richard Whitely for example.

Rowan said...

I hadn't noticed many cooking shows over here of late...maybe it's a uk thing?

Herge Smith said...

Indeed - Whitely was the last (and first) of the good 'uns - let the cull begin.

garfer said...

We get a Canadian one called 'Cook Like a Chef' on cable over here. Cameramen are shown rushing about poking their lenses into pots and pans. It looks like they're making a porn movie.

Wyndham said...

I just love twattish mass-generalisations, well done.

Herge Smith said...

I think that was directed at me.

I must be mediaist or something, and I do try so hard to be right-on.

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