The Ballad of Piggy and Tazzy

I’m sure that everyone is aware of the deep affection for poetry felt by Barnsley based bloggers Piggy and Tazzy. Moved by their deep appreciation of all things poetic, I felt compelled to pen some verse in their honour.

The Ballad of Piggy and Tazzy

I

Piggy and Tazzy went to sea
In a beautiful pea green used condom,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Pigster looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
‘O lovely Tazzy! O Tazzy my love,
What a beautiful Tazzy you are
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Tazzy you are!’

II

Tazzy said to the Pigster, ‘You elegant bumboy!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?’
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a rent boy stood
With a ring at the end of his dong,
His dong,
His dong,
With a ring at the end of his dong.

III

‘Dear boy, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?’ Said the rent boy, ‘I will.’
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the trannie who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.


Garfer (with apologies to Edward Lear).