Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Male Models


I’m sure that we all wish Elton John and David Furnish well after their Civil Partnership ceremony today. In view of their long standing relationship it is only right and proper that they should have the opportunity to make a public declaration of their commitment to each other.

There is one aspect of their relationship about which I am rather curious. Has David, after twelve years, still not plucked up the courage to tell Elton that he has the dress sense of a total mong? For his big day, Elton chose a black satin frock coat that appeared to be about two sizes too big for him. He looked even more like an obese weeble than usual, which I am sure is not the image that he wished to convey on his big day. The garment may have been Versace, or Dolce and Gabbana, but it made Sir Elton appear a complete twat. I think it’s about time that David took him aside and had a quiet word in his ear.

I find it rather reassuring that so many rich celebrities are utterly clueless in the wardrobe department. Christine Aguilera, for example, resembles a trashwhore festooned with Christmas baubles. Then there are the professional footballers who think a black jacket, a black shirt, and a fat black tie, make a fetching combination.

The worrying thing is that the whole of chavdom takes its sartorial inspiration from these people. I think it’s about time that they took their responsibilities as yoof role models a bit more seriously, and got themselves a decent tailor. There’s no excuse for looking like a total fucktard if you can afford not to.

18 comments:

Wyndham said...

His sartorial tastes are the least of his problems, what with the ridiculous Tribble he has long had parked on the top of his head.

garfer said...

Christ, that must be the quickest comment ever!

Tribbles were strokable. I am afraid that Eltons rug is not.

suburban wonder said...

Good for them, and way to go Britain for legalizing civil partnerships. What a lovely step forward.

But, seriously, why could the man not let his wife dress him like the rest of the male population?

garfer said...

If he let a two year old dress him he would look a damn sight more elegant.

frobisher said...

Show some respect for the new Queen Mother. Mind you Furnish is partial to a bit "glitz" himself. Sir Elton taken up the aisle after all these years. Who would have thought?

S.I.D. said...

If I was as rich as Elton I would gladly walk around like that.

Kyahgirl said...

I think Elton is beyond hope. He's always looked like a bit of a fucktard to me. Especially the bizarre eyewear he usually comes up with.

Well, I hope he and Mr. Furnish are happy together, regardless of the many and varied wardrobe faux pas that are committed.

garfer said...

You know no shame sid. I would never sell my soul for mere material goods.

I hope they are happy kyahgirl. They can share their temple of tasteless delights.

S.I.D. said...

Does kebab and beer count as material goods?

garfer said...

Free kebabs and beer for life would be sorely tempting.

My will to resist might crumble.

Sniffy said...

I'm surprised Elton didn't dress up his eyebrows to make a (bigger) feature of them. Remember Diana's funeral?

I don't like him one bit but I fully support him and all those who can now have their partnerships legally recognised.

garfer said...

During his booze and drug hell he apparently got through 12 jars of pickled cockles a day. This is a point in his favour.

He then gave up the booze, drugs, and cockles, and recorded 'I'm Still Standing'.This is not a point in his favour.

Sniffy said...

You see, I got into my pickle habit after I quit the booze. I think pickles are essential for keeping reformed alcoholics on the straight and narrow.

MHN for short said...

Love, love, LOVE IT!!! If I had that kind of money, not only would I spend most of my free time losing the weight, but I would indeed dress better!

garfer said...

Pickled cockles aren't bad actually. I must buy a jar and pick 'em out with a cocktail stick.

You should start your own rehab clinic. It could be a bit like the Betty Ford Clinic, except with pickles.

Sniffy said...

Pickles are the key - and lots of caffeine. I love cockles too. LOVE em!

Alex M said...

Fucktard is rapidly becoming my favourite insult!

Faltanus said...

for just a second there garf i read your comment as pickled cookies, and i have to admit i threw up just a bit in my mouth. i'm so glad you weren't endorsing pickled cookies.

and i have to agree with alex, 'fucktard' has become a permanent part of my lexicon.