Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Firebomb the Scottish Parliament

The latest wizard wheeze to emanate from the toy town Scottish Parliament had me gagging on my Weetabix.

The political numpties are not satisfied with their ban on smoking in pubs, they have decided to interfere with the God given right of all Scots to purchase multi packs of super strength lager and litre bottles of vodka while picking up their weekly supply of meat pies and lard at the local supermarket.

The useless ex toon cooncilors (stuffed to the oxters with tax payers cash) essentially have nothing to do. This is why they feel obliged to stick their snouts (usually snuffling in expense claims for free flats in central Edinburgh) into matters which are none of their business.

Do they seriously think that such a measure will reduce alcohol abuse? Having separate aisles and checkouts for booze will just result in everyone buying food, traipsing out to the car, and then going back in again to load up with the fruits of the grain. This is just a waste of everybody’s time and will not have the slightest effect on the average alcohol consumption per head of population.

Of course, that’s not important; what really matters is that these parasites are seen to be doing something to justify their ludicrously large salaries.

Hopefully the head honchos of the supermarkets will tell them to fuck off and die. If they don’t, I’m seriously considering emigration.


Spinsterella said...


(I didn't think anyone said that except my Da.)

garfer said...

Oxters is a good word, but not as good as shuck.

First Nations said...

what a ridiculous idea. who thought that one up? what were they smoking? what about the folks who are buying the ingredients to make their own hooch?
its positively American.
I can say that.
yes I can.

Convict said...

Where would you emigrate to? England?

garfer said...

Probably Bulgaria (cheap booze, cheap property, beaches, skiing).

Sniffy said...

Firebomb Westminster too - they're a bunch of fucking cunts, the lot of them.

Are we allowed to call the for firebombing of anything these days? Isn't that seen as incitement to terrorism? Who gives a fuck, I'd love to see the wankers try to get a successful prosecution out of that one.

First Nations said...

ooooh! as a person who should probably never been taught how to light a match, i am all for anything having to do with fire and explosions. NEVER take me camping. i'm the one scouring the ditches looking for discarded aerosol containers to heave into the flames.
*ahem* well. yes, then.

MHN for short said...

When I went to New Mexico, I was astonished to find that you could by hard liquor at the local Wal-Mart. In Texas, you can't. You'd have to make a special trip to a liquor store to purchase your Port or Sherry AND you can't purchase said alcohol on Sunday until after noon.

chelsea merz said...


I work for a public radio show, www.radioopensource.org. We would like permission to read from your blog, the post "Firebombing the Scottish Parliament." Please email me and I'll further explain the context in which we would read from your blog. For a hint please visit:

Many thanks, Chelsea