Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Drinking Jumper

My best mate Keith is in a state of considerable distress. His drinking jumper has deteriorated to such an extent that he can no longer wear it.

This garment has provided sterling service, coping with numerous benders over the years. Of indeterminate shape, and sporting a wide variety of stains and burn marks, it had proved a steadfast companion. He has purchased a new drinking jumper, but this is only a poor imitation of the original. It lacks the patina of years of excess, and does not yet reek of stale beer and second hand cigarette smoke.

I think that everyone should have a drinking jumper. As a badge of office of the hardened boozer they know no equal.

Keith is an interesting character. At some point I may devote a post to the time he ended up in bed with the 78 year old Lady Ardgour (by accident).

14 comments:

Sniffy said...

I had a bed jumper once. It became my bed jumper after it had served time as my studying, revising, sitting exams, drinking and collapsing in various states jumper.

For whatever purpose, everybody MUST have a favourite jumper. It's the law.

garfer said...

I think that you should produce a Cakesniffer blogging jumper. April could wear it with pride while expressing her undying love for THE ROCK.

Sniffy said...

Well, I've moved on now and tend to blog while wearing my comfy hooded top - the cardie of the 21st century.

I could get a cakesniffer one designed I guess, might be fun.

garfer said...

A hoodie! Christ! Anyhoo, you should be watching the Arena doc on Bob Dylan. How does someone ineffably top potato turn into a catfish?

S.I.D. said...

I usually want to jumper after I have been drinking.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

A hoodie? Oh christ Tina, how could you admit that?

btw cake-face, if you ever need a hand with your html, just give us a shout. We'll ignore you, but shout anyway.

Sniffy said...

I never really put the hood up, I just like what they look like. And they're comfortable.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

We believe you.

*washes mouth with carbolic, just as mummy instructed I do when I lied as a youngster. I never really did it, of course. I wasn't that stoopid*

Sniffy said...

What is wrong with a 30-something woman of the world wearing a hooded top? I used to wear one all the time when I was a kid (it was red). They look nice and are very comfortable and functional.

They do look stupid on gawkish kids with shaved head, baseball caps, rockport shoes and tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks.

Rowan said...

nope no favourite jumper here, favourite jeans, yes, but sweaters or anything, no how.

suburban wonder said...

I've got Lucky Panties, but no Drinking Jumper.

I don't go drinking often enough to have an item of clothing dedicated to it, despite the margarita picture. If I did, I would probably have it Scotchguarded, as I get very expansive and wave my hands while tipsy. It's the Italian coming out.

becca said...

When I came up to meet Alex, I had a jumper that was far too big for me.I'd never known any boyfriends of mine to fit into it so I lent it to Alex one night and it fit him so well, like Cinderella's slipper. All the glitter eventually faded and it just became his drinking jumper AKA the big black jumper of doom. cats make muffins on it, crumbs, lager, second hand smoke.
Alex can't wash it, he says it has a biosphere.

garfer said...

Cherish that jumper. It has seen much, and is rich in the ways of wisdom.

Alex M said...

And let us not forget the faint, but indelible scent of curry. If I should ever be washed up upon a desert island, I hope I'm wearing that jumper. It could sustain me for months.