Saturday, September 17, 2005

In Praise of Nice

Spice, variety and excitement are all very well and good; but every so often I just can't be bothered with all the fuss and palaver. Sometimes I crave the bland and nice: things that aren't particularly challenging and can be enjoyed with a minimal expenditure of energy, preferably while recumbent.
The word 'nice' is rather frowned upon these days. It seems to have become synonymous with flavourless, everyday, humdrum activities or pleasures. We hear continual references to 'white bread sex', or 'just an average day'.
I don't see what's wrong with wanting something 'nice' every now and then. We're made to feel guilty about it; persuaded that we should be out white water rafting, or eating poisonous puffer fish sushi. I feel that it's about time someone established a national 'Nice Movement'; possibly with Boy George as national convenor. It was George who, don't forget, claimed that: "I much prefer a nice cup of tea to sex".
Next time you're contemplating an Indian menu; go for the Korma and shun the Jalfrezi. Opt for lemon sole with a nice parsley sauce instead of goujons of basking shark with chilli salsa. Try a nice cup of tea and a digestive, forget the double expresso and chocolate croissant. Don't spend two hours on the cycling machine at the gym, go for a nice stroll along the river bank.
Find your inner peace. Go nice today. You might even find that you enjoy it. When you get bored you can always move on to the exciting stuff.

22 comments:

Wyndham said...

Nice post.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Yay! I'm first!

Tea and a digestive is part of my staple diet.

Along with chocolate, cake, jelly (raspberry, as you know) and any of those strange little variety's of sweets that never seem to be around for long and usually taste disgusting.

As for the curry, it's usually a vindaloo (if I'm brave) to wake the bum up in the morning. There's nothing more satisfying than a little anal sting to start the day.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Oh shite. I *WAS* first when I started typing that comment up there.

The next commenter, that one down below me, is clearly demented. Ignore every word they say.

garfer said...

Ring sting dingaling.

Sniffy said...

Nice is great. Same as boring. Boring is synomimous with "bad" in the eyes of some, but boring is safe, pleasant, steady - nice even. Boring isn't the same as uninteresting, boring is very nice.

I don't like Nice biscuits though, you can go too far extoling the virtues of nice. Nice biscuits aren't nice at all. I love a fig roll or a ginger nut though.

garfer said...

A semantic tongue twister if ever I heard one.
I quite like custard creams, but not as much as a nice teacake.

Sniffy said...

Custard creams aren't amongst my favourites. I suppose teacakes are OK, but gingers and figs are top notch fuckin' delish.

garfer said...

Fig rolls are an on and off kind of biscuit. I go off off them. Then i get a craving and there are none in the house. Arses.

pissoff said...

I'm with you on this one. Actually, I think I just might put the kettle on now for a nice cuppa.

Thanks Garf.

Sniffy said...

I had the last one in our house earlier on. But we've got a 24hr Tesco just up the road from us (although I think it shuts at 10pm on Saturday - arse!).

It's always nice to have good local amenities, it's also nice to be isolated from the trappings of modern living too. I'm not one for shirking controversy.

Sniffy said...

Oh she is alive!

garfer said...

A 24 hour Tesco. Lucky cow!
I've got the pub. It doesn't shut till one so I might be able to score some bacon fries.

suburban wonder said...

Ah, to live in America, where the bloated live large by having 24-hour markets everywhere... Seriously, when you've got to have a fig bar at 3:00 am, there are at least 4 markets within a 10-minute radius that you can go to. I speak from experience.

Nice, nice, nice. A fig bar at 3 am. That's what I call nice.

suburban wonder said...

Although, frankly, I like a good chocolate chip cookie or an Oreo better than a fig bar.

Alex M said...

A friend and I were joking about starting a magazine called "Nice". It would be the exact opposite of those bitchy celeb mags the pour over every little imperfection that someone has. Instead of catty remarks about someone's weight, we'd print pictures of them and talk about how nice they are.

"Here's Nicole Kidman, spotted shopping in London last week. Doesn't she look nice? Her hair is especially lovely." Etc etc.

Herge Smith said...

Damn! missed my nice day and had an 'okay' day instead.

Shit.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Fig rolls?

*vomits*

*violently*

MHN for short said...

Truly Garfer, that was nice. I like nice. Nice tea, nice teacakes...btw: I'm still searching for the perfect rub and I'll be sending that & the suprise asap(as soon as possible. didn't know if y'all had that anacronym over there...) :-) Loves ya!

Rowan said...

unfortuantely, I am one of those people that constantly battles with "nice". I'm always that "nice" girl. I really am envious of those "fun and wild" girls, they seem to have anicer time of it. That said, I love digestives (in Canada mostly known for being a baby cookie though) but can pass on the tea most of the time, jut give me a humongous cuppa joe and I'm really happy, really!

Faltanus said...

i'll never forget the quote by Major George Burns from the greatest television show of all times - M*A*S*H. After a conversation that included one too many lines like "oh, isn't that nice," and "that was very nice" Burns says, "It's nice to be nice to the nice." read it and say it outloud to yourself a few times and you suddenly realize that "nice" is one of the oddest words of the English language. it doesn't even look like it's spelled right.

Faltanus said...

errrr...Frank Burns that is....George Burns being the famous commedian.

garfer said...

Wasn't Frank Burns the tosspot who had a thing for hot lips Houlihan?
The phrase 'it's nice to be nice' is actually quite commonly used in Glasgow. It's funny how Glaswegians like to knife each other. Perhaps they're compensating for all that niceness.