Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Broadband Comes to the Boondocks

AT LAST. The steam technology that is dial up is about to be superseded by broadband in my local village. This is very good news indeed. Relying on cumbersome dial up that takes aeons to download photos is really getting on my tits. It's even worse trying to upload stuff; I've got time to make a cup of tea, drink it, and smoke two fags in the time it takes a 800 by 600 photo to appear on screen.
One of the few sensible things the Scottish Parliament (a toy town institution populated by pygmy politicians) has done, is insist that every community in Scotland should have broadband access by the end of 2006. This isn't due to genorosity on their part; they've got so much spare dosh sloshing around due to Gordon Brown's munificence that they don't know what to do with it.
In a UK context this is profoundly unfair. Rural communities in England may have to wait in excess of ten years for broadband access. Effectively, their taxes are being used to subsidise access for the Scots.
I don't know how long it will be before the English population decide to kick up stink about the inequitable levels of public spending in other regions of the UK. The Scots, of course, have a prepared and irrefutable response. The peak oil revenues from the North Sea were used by the Thatcher government to pay for the three million unemployed and the Falklands war. The Scots got squat.
I have to admit, they have a point.


Sniffy said...

Personally, I'd happily pay more tax if we could have a really good war against the French. Imagine how fantastic a war with the Frenchies would be with modern technology!

Broadband is top notch. Have you got a date for when you can get it installed?

The North Sea oil was never Scotland's to whinge about, it was always the UK's resource. Whether it was spent wisely is another matter, but that's something for the entire country to be pissed off about, not just the Jocks.

Anyway, back to broadband, I thought - according to slick advertising - that all you needed was a BT phoneline and you were away. What's the difference up with the Ock Nock Nooks?

garfer said...

We could infect their snails with a nasty virus. That would sort the damn Frenchies out.
As for the oil, independence has always been an option for the Scots. All they ever had to do was vote for the SNP in sufficient numbers. That they have never done so underlines that they are mostly happy as UK citizens, even if a sense of British identity seems increasingly nebulous.
As for broadband coverage, the advertising always stresses 98% national coverage. The other 2% is composed of rural areas. Old exchanges and lines means that broadband accesss requires new technology and inevitable expense.
Speaking of viruses, I've got a bastard trojan that I can't seem to shift. I might have to call someone in at £20 per hour. Arses.

Sniffy said...

Reformat your hard drive, that's always good for a laugh.

Talking of which, I'm being upgraded techno-wise courtesy of Mr Trillion. He's a very nice man.

Yes, let's wage war on the Frenchies! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!

garfer said...

You take out the Dordogne (you can finish off our Beaujolais quaffing ex pats while you're at it). I'll sort out the Parisians, big headed wankers.

Sniffy said...

OK General Garfer, I'm on to it. I plan pass a solid right over Provence on Thursday. Wish me luck.

garfer said...

Defecation from 30,000 feet should get at least a couple of scrounging froggie farmers. May your aim be true.

MHN for short said...

Yippee! So this means more from the Garfer then???