Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bruvvers (Boring Political Stuff)

I hate the British Labour Party with a passion. I hated the donkey jacket (middle class poseurs) clad university lefties who polluted 80's Student Unions, spouting bollocks while quaffing subsidised beer and demanding that the bar be renamed to honour Nelson Mandela. I hated the oleaginous Blair and his spurious Everyman posturings as he informed us that 'things can only get better'.

The one thing the Labour Party can be guaranteed to do is ensure that the working class remains working class. A combination of crap schools, debilitating welfare benefit culture, and a bloated public sector dependent on taxpayer largesse see to that.

Unfortunately no one likes to admit to voting Conservative, as this means you are irredeemably evil and a lick spittle for the vile capitalist overlords. If you live on the Celtic fringe you won't dare admit to voting Conservative, as this makes you a lover of the evil Thatcher (destroyer of clapped out loss making shipyards and steelworks) and could result in a severe kicking.

My real problem with the current crop of Labourites is that they haven't done an honest days work in their lives, progressing from Sociology Degrees to lecturing at glorified Polytechnics or managing Cultural Diversity Outreach Policy for local councils. Ask them what a balance sheet is and they'll think you're referring to trampolining.

Of course the Liberal Democrats (what a stupid name for a political party) are just as bad,if not worse, in this respect. As for the Tories, they appear to have been captured by a coterie of Eton and Oxbridge slimeballs who are of independent means and are clearly only interested in politics for the sake of power and self glorification.

I really think that I should be dictator. I wouldn't be a very good dictator as I don't much like telling people what to do, but at least I wouldn't make it compulsory for people to carry around a fucking card to prove who they are.

Oh, and I'd bury Coldplay alive.

19 comments:

Peevish McSnark said...

Well anyone who'll put Coldplay 6 feet under has my vote!

How 'bout the Monster Raving Loony Party? They sound good to me.

Sniffy said...

Anybody who wants to be a politician should never be allowed to run for parliament.

People should be selected from the electoral register - if they vote and pay tax, their names should be pulled out of the hat and they should then be made to undergo a rigorous interview process mediated by the rest of us. Those with the best answers become MPs.

With you as the Great Dictator of course.

Sniffy said...

Oh, and I hate Labour and the Lib Dems too, they haven't got a clue.

MJ said...

You have the Liberal Democrats. We have the "New Democrats."

And how's this for a party name?...

The Progressive Conservatives.

MJ said...

And what have you done with your comment box?

I miss seeing our avatars.

KAZ said...

I emerged from my mother's womb hating Tories.

KAZ said...

I want mj's legs back.

crazyrivergirl said...

I'd vote for you.

MJ said...

I want Kaz's bottle of vodka back.

KAZ said...

mj:
If you get my vodka you'll be legless which will defeat the object.
'Bring back the piccies'.

garfer said...

Voila.

My dictatorial powers are kicking in.

Well, some of the piccies are back at any rate.

MJ said...

YAY! Kaz and MJ and their bottles are back!

KAZ said...

Power to the people!

garfer said...

Power to me Kaz.

I am dictator after all, and demand due respect.

MJ said...

KAZ: Resist the urge to call him a DICKtator lest he take away our piccies again.

Liz said...

I vote Conservative. Actually, I'm a Conservative party member. And I fully expect that admitting to this will stop anybody reading this from visiting my blog ever again.

garfer said...

I just hope you don't cook for Tory fund raising events.

Politicians, whatever their views, deserve to be pelted with vol au vents, unless they're socialist oiks in which case mushy peas will do.

Liz said...

Puhlease - guacamole.

garfer said...

Very popular in Hartlepool, or so I've heard.