Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Strange Death of Cremola Foam


I get a bit fed up with the current obsession with wholesome organic foodstuffs. Personally I'm not prepared to pay more for a carrot that has been doused in rose water and gently massaged by an oriental lady before being gently eased from the earth. It won't taste any different from a normal carrot, and I'm sure it won't be any more good for me.

If you ask me our life expectancy has been vastly increased due to the range of chemically enhanced foodstuffs which were ingested during the 1970's and 1980's. Each of us should be grateful for the role that the likes of Vesta Beef Curry and Findus Crispy Pancakes played in boosting our juvenile immune systems.

Unfortunately, due to unfathomable corporate shenanigans, the recipe for the great Cremola Foam has gone AWOL. I used to like the stuff: not that I can remember much about it apart from the Liver Salts explosive fizz that used to erupt when it came in contact with water. All I do know is that it obviously didn't contain any natural ingredients whatsoever, and was consequently a very good thing indeed.

I think I last espied a tin lurking at the back of my grandmothers larder in 1977, or thereabouts. If I recall correctly it had a faded label and a fine encrustation around the lid.

I don't think Cremola Foam was universally popular, being more common in Scotland and Northern Ireland than England, but it certainly left an indelible mark on those who ingested it. If anyone is lucky enough to find a tin behind the jam jar of assorted screws in their garden shed they are respectfully requested to send it to HM Govt Biological and Chemical Warfare Dept, Porton Down, England.

21 comments:

Sniffy said...

Completely lost on me I'm afraid. Describe what it's supposed to be.

Findus crispy pancakes - loved em.

I don't buy organic unless there's no alternative. Like you, I refuse to pay more for something that tastes exactly the same as the stuff that I've been eating all my life to no ill effect. And let's face it if chemically-enhanced, genetically modified whatever turns out to kill us all earlier, then that can only be a good thing.

I'm fed up.

garfer said...

Cremola foam was a fruit flavoured powder made from various chemicals that foamed in an evil fashion when water was added. I'm surprised you didn't have it in Manchester.

Findus pancakes always ended up with burnt and curled up edges, which wasn't nice.

Listen to some PJ if you're fed up. PJ is usually fed up about something.

If you want to feel even more fed up go visit Herge, who is sunning his bone idle arse on a Malaysian beach.

garfer said...

Oh, people who get free fags aren't allowed to be fed up.

crazyrivergirl said...

Ah yes, Cremola Foam and a packet of crisps with that wee blue bag of salt. Pure indulgence.

Sniffy said...

We had proper food in our house - apart from Findus crispy pancakes.

And toast toppers.

MJ said...

*offers Garfer a steaming bowl of poutine*

KAZ said...

I can confirm a total absence of Cremola Foam in Manchester.
I can confirm that this product (which the label claims is 'fully sweetened') is similar to polyurethane foam that burns rapidly giving off poisonous black organic fumes.

garfer said...

crazyrivergirl

Apart from hunting down the little blue bag, which was always a pain.

Sniffy

What is this proper food of which you speak? Scouse? Tripe?

mj

Throws poutine at MJ.

kaz

Being a chemist type you probably used the stuff in evil experiments.

Sniffy said...

We did eat tripe actually, only cooked the Italian way.

You know, we ate pasta, curries, chilli, casseroles and things. And one day a week we'd have crap tea - burger/sausage/crispy pancakes/fish fingers and chips.

garfer said...

Cosmopolitan grub.

I mostly got boring meat and two veg, stew, and boiled puddings.

Peevish McSnark said...

Sounds vile. Not quite as bad as poutine, but vile nonetheless.

I don't bother with organic anything. Better living through chemistry is my motto.

M said...

I think the whole organic movement is a ploy to make us by more gas! Or it it to produce more gas??? Hmmmm.

Betty said...

Not familiar with the Cremola Foam. It looks like the sort of thing that we'd use in arts and crafts lessons at infants school.

We used to have variations of the dull meat and two veg formula for most of the week. The Sunday roast would last for the rest of the week in the form of meat pies or stews and we always had fish (and chips) on Friday, even though we weren't a Catholic family.

(this comment is as dull and stodgy as all the meals we used to have)

garfer said...

I used to live on stuff out of packets and tins. That and kebabs and beer.

Maybe I still should. I'm sure I was much healthier, if marginally more flatulent.

Mopsa said...

I missed out - what on earth was it? But we did indulge in Angel Delight - also ghastly processed unnatural gloop of E numbers - after schools when Mums were out and we could play with a bowl, a whisk and a packet of sweet powder. Innocent days.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

We only had Mr Matey in Nor'n Ireland - no such exoticism for us!

Sorry, but organic carrots actually do have more flavour & of all the organic veggies display the widest difference in flavour from the evil battery-farmed ones

Tessa said...

Oh yeah! I remember Cremola Foam alright. Mainly because it tasted like something that had run off from the kennels. Angel Delight, now, that was another kettle of sweet-tasting mush altogether. Mmmm, Angel Delight ...

jenny g said...

I used to LOVE creamola foam, had it every time i went to Grans, then it disappeared :( sad times. crispy pancakes, toast toppers, creamola foam.... this is too much goodness for the one conversation!! I have to say though, unhealthy food/drink always tastes sooo much better :D

Anonymous said...

Creamola Foam is back!

A Scottish Company have just release a new product called 'Krakatoa' it's thier tribute to the the legendary powdered drink.

www.allyballybees.co.uk

Anonymous said...

I loved Cremola Foam. I moved to NZ 24 years ago and tried to get my aunty to track some down recently so I'm very pleased to hear it's been resurrected in the form of Krakatoa Foam.

Cheers,

Malcy

Anonymous said...

Creamola Foam, not Cremola!
It was banned at my school in the sixties ...