I am addicted to Tunnocks Teacakes.
I am addicted to kebabs (which are hard to come by where I live).
I was once a member of the Communist Party of Great Britain (for two weeks).
I fall in love with inappropriate and unattainable women (see P J Harvey and Tracey Emin).
I am not in love with, nor have I been in love with, THE ROCK.
I once had a bag of laundry blown up by the bomb squad. I wouldn’t have minded, but they were my favourite Y fronts
I believe that eviscerating all caravanners would be an act of immense benefit to all humanity.
When pissed I leave fuckwit comments on blogs. I also do it when sober, but not as often.
I am convinced that Herge Smith has been abducted by aliens.
I like to have a bit of a swear on my blog. Cussing clears the nostrils in a much more effective manner than nasal decongestants.
I am a pathetic physical coward, but I would make quite a good sniper.
I am male, therefore I like lists.
I think Jaguar cars (proper old ones) are sexy.
People who squeeze toothpaste from the wrong end of the tube are wasteful tossers.
I once met Kirsty Wark. She was a dwarf: but quite sexy as dwarves go.
I once read ‘War and peace’. Not that I can remember fuck all about it.
I think that all politicians are vainglorious wankers.
I believe that people who advocate euthanasia should be shot.
I would legalise all hard drugs, including Buckfast and Benylin.
I am convinced that Wyndham the Triifid is suffering from a temporary bout of bloggers block. I feel that his stinger will soon be back at its most lethal.
17 comments:
My Kirsty's a dwarf??? Nooooooooo!
So is that wanker Paxman.
Now that I can believe!I hate small men.Weasels
There is a conspiracy of dwarves out there. I think that the lanky Tracey and P J should take over and tell it like it is.
Herge has been abducted by aliens and has been replaced by a home decorator. Doing a damn fine job of it too! ;-)
His stinger? Well, I've never heard it called that before!
And yes, Paxman is indeed a wanker.
*trots back out, stepping on and crushing a teacake on the way*
Can I just make it clear that it has never stung. In that sense. Ahem.
Thank you for your clarification on that point Wyndham
"Eviscerating" Congratulations on finding such a great word. My favourite words of the day are "Sub-Human Northern Scum".
Ahh, good old toilet-trader injects some intelligence into these comments.
Fucking tosser.
The Rock is a meathead tosser. He should get a job as a nightclub bouncer, not inflict his hideousness upon us.
"I am male, therefore I like lists."
My mind registered this as:
"I am male, therefore I like "tits"." Brain gone, too much time spent with children!
mhn,I thought the same at first,but was too polite to say.
garfer has Kirsty big tits for a dwarf?
Small but perfectly formed Coldearth.
eviscerated is a word that I associate with liquid shit and therfore find disgusting.
It was a good choice of word. All caravanners are disgusting.
CCE~ I like to keep it real. Besides, my husband is a "chest nut", so I figure most guys are. ;-)
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