Saturday, October 22, 2005

Yer pays yer money, yer takes yer choice.


The days of boarding house signs displaying ‘no Jews, blacks, dogs or Irish’ are thankfully long behind us. A world were such open discrimination was so commonplace as to arouse neither notice nor comment belongs to what seems an antediluvian prehistory of prejudice and contempt for those of a different race, culture or background.

Only in one respect do such attitudes linger. There is still a widespread practise of bed and breakfasts and small hotels refusing to let double bedrooms to those of a homosexual persuasion.

A case of one homophobic bed and breakfast proprietor in the Scottish Highlands has aroused the attention of the national press. It is not his attitude which is any way unusual; it is the open manner in which he expresses his views. He responds to email enquiries from homosexuals by berating them for being “bloody poofters that aren’t welcome under my roof”.

His attitude has provoked the ire of the Scottish Tourist Board, which is attempting to portray Scotland as a gay friendly destination. They rightly point out that the ‘pink pound’ can make a highly valuable contribution to the tourist economy; and that enquiries from homosexuals should be welcomed.

They are of course entirely correct. The problem is that absolutely nothing can be done about it. B&B’s are private houses: there can be no legal obligation for the proprietors to accept bookings from any source. Personally, I think that it’s really a generational thing. I’m sure that such attitudes are in decline, and that such discrimination on grounds of sexual preference will soon be a thing of the past. Those who accept bookings will prosper, develop, and inevitably push the closet bigots to the margins.

I am involved in tourism, and to be honest, I don’t care what people get up to in the privacy of their rooms. As long as they pay up and don’t wreck the gaff, I am entirely sanguine. The only activity at which I would have to draw the line would be group sex involving chickens or migratory wildfowl. With a flu pandemic apparently in the offing that would be downright irresponsible.

50 comments:

S.I.D. said...

Welcome back garfer and hope your feeling totally kebabed.

Speaking of poofs, I see you escaped the 2 poofs and a podcast this week.

pissoff said...

It's about bloody time Garfy.

Hopefully those attitudes are on their way out the door. People never cease to amaze me though.

pissoff said...

Oh and Welcome Back.

garfer said...

Kebabed, curried, pissed, skint.
It's good to be back, but I'm feeling bone idle. Not that that's unusual.

Sniffy said...

I didn't escape those bastards's attentions. Fuckers. I wouldn't want that pair in my house!*

Welcome back Garfer, how many kebabs did you manage to enjoy? Were there any that you didn't enjoy because you'd overfaced yourself?

*Just kidding, darling hearts, you cunts.

garfer said...

Yeah, one or two. The curry houses have lost the plot. No flock wallpaper! Open plan seating! The places are supposed to feel like the womb for fuck's sake.
Those pair of fuckers would deffo attract a 100% surcharge. Taking the piss lke that. Pair of cunts.

Sniffy said...

Where were you holidaying?

garfer said...

Perth and Edinburgh. East coast indifference. I should have gone to Glasgow.
The west is always the best.

Wyndham said...

Hello Garfer, nice to have you back!

S.I.D. said...

I'm for Dundee in January. Is it nice?

garfer said...

Hello Wyndham, you're quite the geezer.
Dundee is actually on the up. Everyone used to call it Scumdee, but times change.

S.I.D. said...

Cheers garer.It will be called Scumdee again come January.

I tend to lower the tone.

Sniffy said...

Jam, they make jam in dundee don't they?

I had to go to Edinburgh once.

And in the same year, I also spent an afternoon in Glasgow. At the train station, the chap at Burger Me misunderstood my order for a quarter pounder (or whatever they're called) and gave me a kiddies' happy meal! Fucking Jocks and their ock-nock-nook ways.

S.I.D. said...

Can't beat their little haggis and chips covered in HP sauce.

garfer said...

Look, Mancs speak funny. He couldn't help it. Or perhaps he did it on purpose.
He probably assumed that you supported Man U. Had you told him that you supported Liverpool you he would given you a free Pepsi Max.

Sniffy said...

That's true, but this Manc doesn't speak that funny - April will vouch for me.

I like haggis butties.

garfer said...

Well, you're Salford, which aint Manchester.
Ow's your estuary?

Sniffy said...

That's very true, although we don't tend to use the "S" word around here.

Estuary? Why's everyone speaking in code tonight? Fuck's sake, I don't understand anyone!

garfer said...

Vegetarian haggis is an abomination. Intestines are an essential component.

garfer said...

Estuary 'English'.
Dropping your aitches and that.

Sniffy said...

Oh right, I see, get you now. I'm terrible for it - the beginnings and ends to words might as well not exist as far as I'm concerned.

Sniffy said...

Veggie haggis isn't that nice, I agree. Proper haggis is delish though.

Those twats Taz and Pig were going on about black pudding coming from Yorkshire in their latest podcast. Arseholes it does! Aresholes quite literally, but at least it's Lancashire arseholes.

S.I.D. said...

Hmmm Gutsy.

S.I.D. said...

Speaking of Piggy,are pork scratchins Lancashire driven? I have never had them.

garfer said...

PROPER black pudding comes from Stornaway. Soft southern affectations just don't cut the mustard.

Sniffy said...

Bury, Garfer, no other place than Bury for black puddings and you know it.

I have no idea of the origins of pork scratchings, but I love them to bits. They stink something rotten though.

garfer said...

Teacakes and black puddings explain my healthy complexion.

S.I.D. said...

I've said it once and I'll say it again Clonakilty Co Cork *Award Winning* for your black pudding.

They kill the pigs in front of you.

Sniffy said...

Don't the Irish have something weird called "white pudding"?

garfer said...

I've seen white pudding, but it seems wrong to eat it somehow. I need my haemaglobin.

S.I.D. said...

Yeah, Caucasian pigs. Its not as nice as the Black Stuff.

Sniffy said...

I bet it's just re-formed lard with a bit of salt and pepper.

S.I.D. said...

Just waiting for the Green Pudding now. Fucking Irish!

Sniffy said...

Special St Pat's day treat - turpy-turpy, top o' da mornin', potato cakes!

garfer said...

There is no such thing as potato cakes. Potato bread is the dog's bollocks. And bouncy keyboards.

Sniffy said...

Picky git. Do you have your potato "bread" toasted and spread with best butter?

I like my keyboard too. It's a bit manky and in need of a clean at the moment though - must sort it.

garfer said...

Fried. Or steamed. Tricky.

Sniffy said...

Fried or steamed? What sort of pigswill are you talking about?

suburban wonder said...

Sorry to break up the pudding chat, but hey! Welcome back! I missed you.

The only puddings I have here are chocolate, rice, and tapioca. All instant.

S.I.D. said...

That's chocolate,rice and frog spawn.

Sniffy said...

"pudding" is anything sweet that you have after your tea. There's also steak pud, suet pud, bakewell pud, christmas pud.... mmmmmm delish.

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MHN for short said...

Wilkomen, bon venue, welcome BACK!


As long as they pay up and don’t wreck the gaff, I am entirely sanguine. The only activity at which I would have to draw the line would be group sex involving chickens or migratory wildfowl. With a flu pandemic apparently in the offing that would be downright irresponsible.

Right on!

Piggy and Tazzy said...

So you decided to return then? About fucking time.

That old twat in the highlands with the B&B has been causing a stink for at least 5 years know, that I know of.

It's sad to say, but it really doesn't amaze me that some people still have that attitude. What he needs is a good bit of man-on-man bumsex to cure him of his hangups.

Perhaps I'll email him and ask if he'd like to try a bit of arse-fucking. I'm cute. He'll like me.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Oi! When did we say black pudding came from Yorkshire? I'd never say such a thing (I'm a highlander, after all).

And it was the podcast before last, actually. I remember now. Tazzy was rambling on in his own way about Yoskshire and just happened to mention black pudding in a completely irellevant way, as he usually does.

Trust that Manc Dyke (who, as Garfy-face rightly pointed out isn't *really* in Manc) to misconstrue again.

Salford. What is the world coming to? Isn't it time they nuked the place?

Salford *laughs*

Aginoth said...

welcome back Garfer, the lack of tolerance of some people never fails to amaze me, prejudice the 8th deadly sin

pissoff said...

man on man bumsex or not.... black pudding sucks.

Sniffy said...

April, get with it dear. Black pud is heavenly. And I'd love it if Salford was nuked, it's the biggest shithole on the planet - even worse than Barnsley or Scotland.

Rowan said...

NEver had black pudding, sounds ghastly! I don't even eat red meat as a rule tho' so I'm prolly best not to try it.

Bill Attwell said...

Where is this image from?