Saturday, August 13, 2005

Little Tubes of Contentment

Fancy a roll mate?
MY NAME IS GARFER AND I AM A CIGGIEHOLIC. It took some guts to say that, I can tell you. I have admitted my heinous addiction in a public forum and hang my head in everlasting shame.
Tobacco is one of the most addictive drugs known to mankind. I've read that it's actually more difficult to kick ciggies than heroin. Heroin withdrawal is nasty in the extreme, but once you come through it you don't suffer the intermittent, overwhelming cravings that nicotine produces.
Of course no one can justify smoking tobacco; but that doesn't alter the fact that smoking can be highly enjoyable. There's nothing like a post prandial cigarette to imbue the smoker with a sense of satisfied wellbeing. Smoking is excellent when you're under stress and I'm convinced that it is an aid to concentration. Of course a lot of the pleasurable effects are down to the release of a powerful drug: it's not really making you feel better, it's making you feel the way that you would feel if you'd never smoked at all.
There is also the habitual aspect. If you feel distracted, reach for a fag. If you pour a cup of coffee, reach for a fag. If someone uncorks a bottle of wine, reach for a fag. The permutations are endless. To give the things up is not just to kick an addictive drug, it is to relearn how you behave in a myriad of different situations. Giving up is just TOUGH.
I'm going to have another go this year. I smoke rolling tobacco which, perversely, doesn't seem as nasty as the ready rolled variety. The orange tar stain which appears at the end of my index finger tells a different story.
I've been smoking for twelve years. Apparently if I give up at this stage the long term health risks will quite rapidly equate to those of someone who has never smoked. That thought is certainly an incentive.
Now, after all this tiring typing, I think I'll roll myself a small cheroot and wistfully contemplate my little tube of contentment. He may not be there to provide me with solace for much longer.


Sniffy said...

Ahhh, fags - love em.

I gave up nearly five years ago after being a smoker for over ten. It was tough, and although I've never had one since, it's constantly there with you. It takes you by surprise: you'll be at your desk and you'll think, I'll just go for a fag, and then remember that you don't smoke anymore.

There's no such thing as an ex-smoker; just a smoker who doesn't smoke anymore.

Wyndham said...

Garfer, I'm also giving up. I fear I will never be able to socialise again. What's the point of having a drink in front of you if you can't light up at the same time.

Now where's that copy of the Radio Times...

garfer said...

I am glad that you have not developed the evangelical zeal of the convert and lectured me on the evils of the weed.
You must have noticed a big financial difference not smoking or drinking.
Yeah, the two go together. I don't think I've met a single teetotaler who smoked.
Giving up is a bastard. I do genuinely like my tabs.

Sniffy said...

In all honesty, I gave up fags for purely financial reasons - saving over £100 a month. Now that I've had a few years without them, I'm glad that I've given up on health grounds too.

I think everybody should smoke during their 20s, it's great! I could quite easily have another at any time, although I'd probably do that embarrassing "hot smoke in eye" and choking to death thing if I did.

Good luck with giving up should you choose to have a go at it.

garfer said...

£100 squids a month is a lot. That's the difference between driving a nice car and a crap one.
That's probably the way to go about giving up. Set aside the ex fag money and spend it on something nice.

Herge Smith said...

Garfer, sadly you failed to mention the most important aspect of smoking.

It makes you look cool.

This has always been the major hurdle to preventing youngsters taking it up.

With a fag in your hand you can convey a thousand emotions, without out one you look either;

a) Bored
b) Like you are waiting for someone.

garfer said...

Thanks for pointing that out Herge.
Lauran Bacall smoking a fag was ultra cool and sexy.
Chomping on a woodbine while wearing a cloth cap probably didn't have quite the same effect.

MHN for short said...

Good luck to you Garfer! Giving anything up that you love is a bitch. I'll send positive vibes your way. love to ya! michelle. :-)

garfer said...

I'll probably develop a twelve chocolate eclair a day habit to replace the nicotine.
Still, I suppose diabetes beats lung cancer. Hey ho.

MHN for short said...

Or you could do something really crazy and find a good woman and see if you can get her to cater to your every desire. That would keep you busy for a while... ;-)

pissoff said...

I used to smoke in my 20s. I did it for two reasons

1. I lived in England
2. Everybody did it

I gave up no problem and have never craved one since. You can do it Garfer...think of the holidays you can go on. The car you'll be driving. The money you'll be saving. Go for it.