Monday, August 29, 2005

Tunnocks Teacakes Exclusive

Boyd Tunnock has today announced an advertising campaign to be directed at the North American market.
In todays Uddingston Evening News, Boyd has commented that: "these rude colonial types are essentially heathens who bear false witness to the false gods of Hershey and Mars. I see it as my duty to teach them the error of their ways. Teacake consumption is an essential feature of any society which aspires to call itself civilised".
The campaign is to be spearheaded by April Pissoff, a resident of British Columbia, Canada. April will be extolling the benefits provided by teacakes as nipple protectors in sunnier climes. This feature of the teacake is not widely recognised in damp, drizzly Scotland. Boyd feels that April is the perfect person to model the twin teacake approach to preventing nipple sunburn.
On receipt of her consignment of teackes, April has kindly agreed to provide an exclusive first view of this novel use of the teacake to her regular blog readers.
April has announced that she will be posting high defintion photographs of her chocolate tipped nips on her blog at the earliest opportunity.
She will welcome comments from her regular readers.


MHN for short said...

was that pic doctored??? If not, those are some scary ass nips!

Catpee said...

haha oh dear

pissoff said...

I don't recall agreeing to that Mr. Garfer.

I thought I was supposed to be taking a picture of me taking a bit of a Tunnocks Teacake.

I did, however, send you a special gift and am willing to negotiate a deal. When your goodie bag arrives we shall negotiate.

garfer said...

Fair enough. I'm not entirely sure that I like the implications of your comment. I fear that you may have a nasty surprise up your sleeve.

pissoff said...

This could get interesting...!

Gordon said...




And I, for one, will happily lend my weight to a campaign to ensure the aforementioned "agreement" is upheld.

(but they'd melt, right???? or is that the point... slurp...)

Merkin said...

It's clear to me that the lady in your picture has had some Tunnocks Teacakes inserted in her breasts lieu of the more usual silicone implants. Is this a new sideline for your favourite confectionary company?

garfer said...

Tunnocks teacakes are very popular in Saudi Arabia. Perhaps the arab lassies use them as nipple protectors. Boyd Tunnock's genius as a confectioner has probably enabled him to produce chocolate that can withstand high temperatures without melting.

Rowan said...

ummm, you DO realize the average N.American doesn't look like THAT don't you? Scary. Can't wait to see her Tunnock Titties.

pissoff said...

I have to say that even with Tunnock Titties I don't think mine could look like that.